Are YOU doing it ????

Sometimes the mind is blank and sometimes cluttered with thoughts, today is strange mix of both...... felt like sharing it by my best way of expression, my blog............

How to deal with your mind ???? Lots of ways, different therapies, one of which I learned, it helped me a lot, but does anything help unless you practice it regularly, It does not, no matter what steps you take for self improvement but if you stop working on it, you stop growing or improving in that direction.

A person who is doing something, like diet control, exercise, Yoga, etc... to reduce weight, as soon he or she stops and again the mind and body responds to the latest habits and not the ones done previously.

If you are learning music, or following any hobbies and you stop learning, and most of all stop practicing and you will see the difference in a few years in you, your singing quality would deteriorate.

What is most important, what we are learning today, what we learned yesterday, what we are going to learn tomorrow, or What we are doing today, what we did yesterday, what we will do tomorrow.

We all, our education system, our parents, teachers, all of us focus on learning, learning and continuously learning.......

When are we going to change this and start doing things and learn to do things, not simply learn, taking steps ahead, one by one exactly in the direction of your goals or purpose of life.

Dream, we tell children, work for your dreams and we stop them by the burden of unnecessary knowledge which does not help them to fulfill dreams but it stops them from believing in their dreams or sometimes even believing that they are able enough to fulfill their ambitions and dreams, by labeling them or tagging them with the so called " Good boy/ girl" or " bad boy/girl"

And this tagging is done on the basis of the marks, of the habits they possess by following the so called " who know everything" Elders & Teachers, but people forget that people change, everyday, every moment, we all do and how can we tag anyone or label anyone positive or negative on the basis of what they are doing today.

It is fine to guide, on the basis of today, what not to do, or what to do for future but labeling them is like, we are tying them with a heavy chain, inside the world's zoo in different cages, and their mind starts believing that they are the label which is outside their cage, and not what they are inside.

This blog might get a bit too long but then, this is just a beginning, to ask my readers to believe in themselves and not the labels, and not just learn but start doing what is positive and what will take them closer or one step ahead to their goals and avoid those things which pull them one step back from their goals of life.

Start working on YOURSELF, YOUR DREAMS, YOUR AMBITIONS, YOUR PURPOSE, YOUR LIFE, YOU............ because it is your life, and everything else associated to your Individuality, every choice you are making today is making you what you are today, and every choice you make in future will make you what you will be tomorrow, but "you cannot build a reputation on what you are going to do"........ so start doing it NOW.

Just do it..........

signing off for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com

Where the mind is without FEAR......

Today I do not know what I am writing should be shared or No, it very rarely happens that I give a second thought on sharing what I feel, but today because it is about an event that has deeply affected the mass, and Thanks to the Media to have highlighted it so, may be to bring justice to the Girl who died or may be to have high TRP’s. No I am not against the Media and the work it does, because media is a very powerful tool for mass communication and it can be used for such things and a lot more.

I usually never give my comment on current affairs, because I am very much out of all these, hardly follow news, which is of course not a very good habit and one should be aware of what’s happening around the world. What Happened to the Girl who got gang raped, was cruel and hanging to death also would be a punishment too small for the criminals, If I were to decide may be I would say chop their hands and let them live, so that they can never touch themselves again leave aside other women.

But the very thought of doing something cruel is again heading me towards becoming a criminal. I am not against what Media is doing, but Yes I am against the fear that is spreading across young girls and women too because of such events being highlighted to this extent in the name of awareness.

Many more such crimes happen, there are babies being raped who do not even know how to defend, there are woman being burnt by their own family members for Dowry, there are women who have to live everyday compromising on their little and big desires and dreams and crying every day and living a life as good as dead, woman who are not good looking suffering because of the way people look at them and they perceive themselves to be ugly,,,,,,,,,,,, endless list, suffering is all over, masked and unprotected. Media does to some extent create awareness and also encourages a lot of good things. I am happy about those and also not unhappy about this news.

The Suffering of that girl is undoubtedly very traumatic. It can shake the ground under the feet of all women to even think of such an incident. This post is for the girls and the women who are deeply in fear, Stop fearing, Stop getting scared, Work on Yourself, Prepare yourself in a way that you can defend such atrocities happening to YOU. If media after this event shows the many woman who have learned self defence and they give an answer themselves to the criminals without waiting for the court of Law which takes too long a time to decide what should be done, I am sure crimes would be lesser and criminals would be scared rather than the victims.

Girls Take charge of your life and learn not to give in, not even be weak. I don’t mean to say compare yourself with Men, or suppress Men, No, Men are our biggest support system and without them we would not be able to survive too. We need to respect them and take them hand in hand as a counter part of life, but then stop fearing, stop thinking that what if something like this happens to me. IT WONT, if only You decide to not let it happen to YOU.

The World is beautiful, and we can make our world beautiful by learning to take charge of our lives and also the beauty is that a Lady can take charge of a generation of a family and make the whole generation fearless, educated, courageous, responsible and Lovable. Take charge to not make criminals but make wonderful people. JOIN HANDS WITH ME TO MAKE THIS WORLD A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO BE.

I cannot do it alone, but I have made my world beautiful and believe me I have no fear, I want every woman to feel the same and Live with a thought that something so cruel will never happen to me, because I won’t let it happen, I am not boasting about myself, because none of us can predict what will happen in the next second, may be something difficult is in store or may not be, but in todays world where we learn that Ask and you shall receive, ask for a mind without fear, and believe me YOUR MIND HAS ALL THE POWERS IN THIS UNIVERSE. EXPLORE YOUR POTENTIAL AND LIVE IT TO THE FULL.

Love you all who took out the time to read my post, and if you disagree, I have no regrets because that is my perception and people may have different perceptions, and they have the right too, I respect all views and opinion as much as I respect mine.

Sharing a poem of Rabindranath Tagore which I love a lot
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Signing off for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com.

Existence

Wondering what existence means, the dictionary meaning is whatever is, the being, is existing. I had read a status of a friend on facebook few months back,
"Most people suffer from merely existing versus really living. Don’t get caught in a rut; get out of it if you are. Explore. Play. Go beyond your comfort zone. Don’t lean on the excuse “I don’t have time to try new things.” It is as tragic and ridiculous as saying “I don’t have time to breathe.” New experiences are life. Live deeply."

I loved this status and felt so deeply for this young girl who shared this quote, though she was out of Fb after sometime and I never spoke to her after that, It is fun to explore, to play, to go beyond your comfort zone and try new things, but the belief systems we are brought up in right from childhood, make so much impact on our minds that before anyone else, we stop ourselves and we dig a hole of fear and do not even dare to look around and confront our own fears, simply because of the duality in mind within.

The question is how can one come out of this duality, one needs to actually ignore all the so called knowledge gained, drop the entire belief system we have formed in ourselves, and let go off the self and become an observer and look at life as a third person, many a times we understand the situations after that, and react in a better way, still there are some incidents which are unavoidable and inevitable, the reason for those incidents is unknown or may be if we know also looking deeply inside us, then also we cannot avoid them from happening. "Let go" are two simple words but very difficult actions, and any thought without action is merely a day dream or an illusion. How long can one live in an illusion or dream, not long and one day when the you confront the truth it is terrible.

What next ????? is what we keep asking ourselves after such reflections to the inside. Awareness does not come easily, but once you become aware, it is even more difficult till you become completely free, this in between stage of the connect to your subconscious, and connect to the super conscious is a hard task to undergo, but when you step on a journey to the unknown, you cannot return either, because when you return , your longing to learn more, keeps you upset,and till you reach there, you are always in a dilemma.

And after all this trouble one takes and reaches the destination, he realizes that the answers are not in the destination, they were in the journey and just being in it, just being the way you are, just loving yourself, just accepting yourself the way you are and being okay with it and loving others the way they are being okay with them, And Eureka, you found it, the key to happiness, which was simple, but to be simple, one needs to go through a lot of complications, to understand truly what simple means and to value simplicity.

Simple is Beautiful, I pray for myself, one and all I know to learn the art of being, being simple, being beautiful not in appearance but inside.

Signing off for the day, see you again

Keep Moving on, is what all say.....

Today my Cousin Expired, morning I was very happy and excited about some new purchases, some fun talks, with Hubby dear and many more things, and suddenly this news came which started making me think.............

Is it worth keeping away from people, completely, is it good to keep in touch in some way, may be messages, social networking sites, calls, emails, or it should be like, people who need you will call you and talk to you, but for the rest you need not be worried. Life goes on at all ends, our life and the other peoples lives too, may it be relatives, friends and also extended family, sometimes your own family too, when the children grow up and start staying outside.

One thing I know giving space is important to all, let them be kind of, but again to what extent one should be involved is a question because today when I lost my cousin then I felt the last time I spoke to him and met him was in May 2012 when another cousin's wife expired. Time moves with its pace, and we too keep moving forward, is it essential to look back once in a while to the people in the family and close friends to simply say a Hello How are you, if not a long talk, I don't know, but feeling very low today, that why do we all get so busy in our lives that we do not have time to look at other people, who are far and also who are near sometimes.

Priorities is the name we give to all that we love to do, and consider the other things not so important, I only know one thing which I noticed in my life, though not all the people react that way, but when I would call anyone on their birthday or anniversary, once in while, people would always feel great about it, and appreciate the call made and occasion remembered.

off late reduced all of it, got more busy in life and then I also realized that probably the others who do not remember are already busy, and have different priorities, what should one do ????? Stop calling people who don't call you or still be in touch because it makes you feel good or make a pact kind of to yourself that if someone never calls me even after I made several calls then I need to stop.

I guess the third option seems fine, Well, I wish I had more views on this from different people and so that we can come to a conclusion, as to what is the correct way of being in touch.

Signing off, coz my mind is revolving at the same point again and again and not finding any correct answer.............

Untitled

How strange anything looks when there is no title to it, like a person without a name, one of my trainers told me the most favorite word of a human being is a person's name. I believed in it too, taught my students during sessions that it is important to remember names and calling people by the name makes a difference in the conversation.

Today is a special day, not because it is some good occasion or some festival etc.. it is a day when I decided to take out a few days from life and look into myself without the influence of others. Deactivated all social networking sites and accounts and thought How does life feel like without these things which have become compulsory kind of, in today's date, though in my own circle there are people who are totally out of Facebook, Twitter, Linked in etc.. and even if they are in, they are inactive. I used to tell them all, that what stops you from being connected to the world that way, it is a good medium to express and share your views. Strange that I myself decided to remove my name from all of these to venture into a new journey, the journey of the unknown, I do not know so far how long I can keep away, because people believe and I too that I am a peoples person and cannot keep away from people, this is a test I am taking, for myself, I may pass, I may fail, pass/ fail was never an issue in my life, I would be equally happy in both during exams, though I never failed,,,,I was an average student and in work and other aspects too, as per the world parameters, I am average.

Well that is not a concern, I am happy being the way I am. Sharing here that for a person who is very expressive it is difficult to be quiet and for a person who is very quiet it is difficult to understand the talkativeness, though extreme of anything is bad, but learning the balance is a challenge of life.

When I say bad, again, bad and good are relative terms. but excess and little are not, we can learn not to do things in excess and not to do things too little. In this run of not over doing things, I have started this exercise, shall share here on my blog my everyday experiences, not for anybody to read, not for anybody to appreciate, not for anybody to follow, simply for satisfying my need to express and my want to share, instead of sharing it with outsiders, I am sharing it with myself, people who are acquainted with me, and are comfortable with my sharing can continue to read my posts everyday, rest do not need it of course, goes without saying. That's why no more sharing with people who do not need it and no more caring about their views either.

I am here to simply write my heart out, oh!! yeah I can maintain a diary but I am fond of speaking out loud and clear and it gives me happiness and sometimes also removes unwanted people from my life and keeps the honest relationships alive.

It is good to be honest to others, and even better to be honest to yourself, rather than others, Life is a lot more easier and even if it is not, the strange thing is that the so called people who advice me so many things, also do not have an easy life, so its okay to not have an easy or a perfect life and perfect relationships in life. I wanna join the positive and the negative aspects and make it neutral. ZERO, Nothing, Blank, Empty, etc..... are no value words, but I guess in life if one can achieve this state, its the best thing that can happen to a human being. I am talking about the ordinary human being the common man, like me, not the highly intellectual people or the saints, the people who have lived extra ordinary lives, No, I am not one among them.

signing off for the day.............

I Love YOU :)

Weekend is an awaited time, from our usual routine we get a break, to do the things either we love to do, or the ones which are pending and you pile it up to complete during weekend.

Today I am not in my usual high spirits, because, it is weekend time, I am at work place, sitting as usual, but still I was wondering, how horrible the world would be if we never had friends and family to spend our good times and bad ones with.

Usually we never acknowledge our family members and friends for the kind of fulfillment they bring to our life. Today I am alone, at work, all family members are out, not that life stops, not that there is nothing else to do, not that, I am crying all day, its simply that when you do not have your loved ones close to you, everything seems a little less than usual. A little incomplete, a little slow........

It's good to stay in touch with friends on Phone calls, its nice to view updates on Facebook, its good to check out old snaps and revisit good old memories, but then everything would come to a stand still, if we had no one to share all this with. How Boring and non happening work and home would be, without the people in it.

Just take out some time, look at life, Give a hug to your partner and children, Say " I love you". Are we doing that everyday, if yes I am sure Life is beautiful at your end, but where it is not done, there is love, not that there is no Love and affection, but without expression, it is only a feeling which is suppressed and it does not reach the other.

Expression may not be in words always, it could be a smile, a hug, holding hands, looking into the eyes, When dull simply doing something funny to bring back that smile, or simply sitting quietly with each other, sharing a song, watching a movie together, going on a drive, exercising together, Dancing together, Swimming together, cooking together, anything and everything done Together and all these things are not applicable only for husband and wife or lovers, it is for Parents and children, friends, Loved ones, anyone whom you love, or who loves you and with whom Life feels better.

Along with expression of Love, Freedom is also a major part of being together, we need to know when to leave each other alone and give them the space when they need it. Too much of anything is bad, which holds true for Love and freedom both, but the decision is absolutely the other person's when they want to left alone and when they want to be together, only when you realize this, you know the true meaning of Understanding each other. People say relationships are based on trust, but I have observed that more than trust, Understanding plays a major role. Trust develops gradually when we understand each other better.

Love makes Life beautiful, and Love is never just physical touch, it is so many things we do for each other, just to see a smile on the other's face, or to let them know that " I am there and I shall always be there for you :)"
I do a lot of it and so even one day without all these seems so empty to me, My children and my loved ones, they make life beautiful for me, simply by being in it and enjoying and sharing every expression of Love in words, gestures and actions.

Missing you all specially Adesh, Avani and Srijan. Without you all Life is so meaningless and so empty. I love you. Thank you God for giving me such beautiful people to be called as FAMILY.

Missing all of YOU but more thankful that I have YOU & I belong to YOU :)

Signing off for the day :)
thatsbandana@gmail.com

Dussehra: A Victory of Good over Evil, is it true or Just a perception ???

Today Morning I woke up with some thoughts and felt like sharing them with all of you who read what I write, though today's post is different from my usual ones, now it is with a better insight of Life and Thanks to my teachers, Guru's or the people who have taught me so much.

Dussehra: We all say it is a day of Victory of Good over Evil, indeed it is, but it is also a perception of the so called good people that they are good and that Evil people exist in their lives. The fact is that there is Good and Evil, but, there are no Good people or Evil people, and, today I am just showing a new perspective to all who are reading this post, something which I learned off late in Life, from many wonderful people I came across specially after learning Hypno Therapy Concepts from CHII, Special Thanks to Dr. Rajiv Naidu, Yuvraj and Neeta Yuvraj.

When we look at the story of Ramayana, If Sita would not have crossed the Lakhsman Rekha, Ravan would not have kidnapped her and no War would have happened and no Dussehra, to be precise.

The different perceptions can be: Had she not been disobedient, no problems would happen to her and her family. Another perception: Good that she did what she did,so end of Ravan happened which was very important for people living in that time.

The thing is that everything was pre written or pre programmed and Rama took Birth for that war to happen, Ravan became so powerful by penance and did so many things which troubled a lot of people so as to Die in a great War by God himself. Sita was supposed to do what she did, so that this War happens........etc....etc.... and an Example was set, an Epic made out of this story and it is being read and followed in many ways by the world.

Now, if we see it in this way that every person who took birth in that Time period was playing a role which he or she was supposed to play, but when being human, they played it in an absolutely human way, like they fell in love, they had pangs of separation, they fulfilled their duties towards family, they fought for injustice, they kept promises, they also had jealousy, greed and vice, they also used their powers, they also showed what friendship is, what commitments are, what is the consequence of under estimating anyone, what is the consequence of Pride, the consequence of acting without thinking and a lot more lessons conveyed, not naming the different people who played the different roles but, the fact is that every person played his or her role perfectly, without the feeling of anyone being Great or Small, No one played God, they played Human, because they were in human form, and the moment Ravan Died, his role was over and the differences between Rama and Ravan were over too,and then Rama told Laskhmana to learn lessons from Ravan of being a great King. Ravan also thanked Rama for giving him a brave death which he desired to have in that lifetime.

Now let's come out of the story or Ramayana and come back to life, our life, we all have people in our life who play Ravan, who play Vibhishan, who play Hanuman, who play family, who play friends, who play Guru, who play Lover, who fight for us, who care for us, who stand with us in tough times, who back stab us, who hurt us, who shatter our faith, who disobey us, who insult us, and endless roles of endless people, but the moment we understand the fact that all are playing their roles which are pre written simply to teach us lessons of life and make us walk on our plan of life in different ways, just to fulfill whatever big or small goal which we have come here to fulfill and complete our job and Exit with happiness like all in the Ramayana did fulfilling their roles.

The main thing is listening to our inner voice, and doing what it says, because it is only the inner voice which knows what you are here for and what you are supposed to do. For example, it was bad Sita did not listen to Lakhsmana, as per society then, but her inner voice said she needs to go further and she did, and only then the remaining happened. Also Kaikeyi asking for 2 boons, was a part of the story, she had to play that role because she chose to play that, We all play the roles we choose to play in life and the good or bad consequences which follow are again only a part of our choices. There is no one good or bad, people simply play their part in your life, because you chose them to play it.

The hierarchy of family members also is a part of your role, you need to play a child to your parents, Spouse to your partner, Parent to your children, Boss to your team and team to your Boss etc... and according to your role behave adequately as per the need of the hour and position. That is when you play your role in a good way.

There should be no differences between people, there could be differences in Opinion and it could be expressed or if left unexpressed, then simply doing what you feel is right for you, would do good for you.

Even if you think you are doing good, you can always think that you are playing a role of a good character in the drama because you chose to play that role and not have any ego involved. If you are doing bad and you do not feel guilty then also its okay, because may be you are supposed to be that way, but the conflict happens when you do something which your inner voice does not agree to, whether the act be good or bad as per people or belief systems, but then for sure you are doing the wrong thing to yourself and the consequences are not what the other people will face because of you, the consequences are what you will face out of the guilt in you, anger in you or frustration/ depression in you, Pain/ Grief in You Any negative emotion which develops in you because of that act of yours.

"Whatever is happening in your life, it is only you who are responsible for it" My Trainer Dr. Rajiv told me this, the moment I understood, all the problems in my life disappeared one by one gradually, when I started understanding the roles of the other people in my life and mine in theirs and not have any negative emotions attached to me being in my Life the way I am.

I know it is getting longer and at places may not be very clear, because it took years for me to understand, just one small article cannot give all answers, but please feel free to write to me or discuss with me on comments with this article, I would be glad to learn more and share more.

Concluding my article of today with the same thought, there is no good people and bad people, all in our life are playing their role and we need to understand whom we want to choose to retain and whom we choose to let go, after having learned the lesson they came to teach us in our life. Simply play your role, learn and share, Listen to your inner voice, Be what you are meant to be in all relationships, and in the ones which do not work, understand the meaning why God put that person in your life and you will have no complaints or regrets. Most of all - Be Human and be okay with being human.

Love Yourself and Love all, Live and let live, Don't feel guilty if you err, there is a quote " To err is human, to Forgive Divine" and this forgiveness is not only for others, we need to Forgive ourselves too. Being liberated is not renouncing from the world, it is simply understanding that Everything happens for a reason and we can simply let go the emotions attached to the events. Life will be simple, easy and effortless. Why do we need a complicated Life ????? Do we ??????

Signing off for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com