The Hole

Long time I never took out time to write, not that I never had anything to share but at times you just feel good to be quiet. Today some thoughts were rolling on my mind and i felt I should share them, I watched a movie with my kids last night "The Hole" and this movie was like there's a hole dark and hidden into which if one looks he gets scared to death by his own fears.

In a movie we see the various aspects but in general we do not notice little things which are really important and we all need to learn to fight our fears. When we are scared of something, I am sure all of us have some fear or the other in life, it could be a thought, a person, an animal, could be pursuit of success, could be fear to fail,,,,,,, endless emotions which are connected to our fear within and you bet on it, if we don't actually face the fear it chases us all our life and even leads to death at times.

According to me the best way to remove it is to face it, Imagine that the worst thing you dread has happened and then what next ? What would you do when something you always were scared of happens, I am sure you would think of some solution to come out of it or withstand it, you may pray, you may feed positive thoughts, you may seek other alternatives for the worst situation and when you actually think this way, you find that its not that bad, you knew how to come out of it, you have ideas where in you can manage the situation even at its worst, then why be afraid. We are only afraid of something until we actually face it.

For example during exams we all fear about the percentage, the competition, the humiliation if not performed well, but we tend to forget that while worrying about all these things we are actually hindering our efforts and performance deteriorates, when you do some task without any fear inside and with confidence the outcome is always better, and could be the best if we do the tasks happily, sincerely and confidently.

Another fear which we all undergo at sometime or the other in life is a loss of a relationship, Adesh lost his father when he was only 15,he would not have imagined in his wildest dreams that something like this might happen to them but it did, and though it seemed impossible but they made their way through, that does not mean that you start imagining that something like this would happen to you but, what I mean to say is there is no situation in life which cannot be dealt with, could be loss of a job, failure in interviews.......etc...etc. I think we can only survive when we begin any task with a "Hope for the best and be prepared for the worst" attitude.

It's easier said than done but if when the worst happens and we manage it then why be scared and make others scared as well. If you have any kind of threat on your mind then, I feel that instead of showing panic, getting depressed and creating a very tough environment for yourself and either the family or organization better look for a solution out imagining the worst which can happen and also plan your tasks as per your goal, and give your best shot without bothering much about the results or the consequences. Believe in Yourself and also believe in the others around you, they say treat the others as you want to be treated by them.

Fight your fears, be confident, facing the fear takes you a step ahead towards winning and reaching your goal. Life gives you two options to everything either participate or run away, running away will lead you nowhere, where as participating may not give the desired result always but for sure you will have the satisfaction of having done whatever best you could possibly do and with time, patience, hard work and perseverance someday you will reach where you want to be. NEVER GIVE UP.

Signing out for the day with my usual note, keep smiling, smiles can take you miles. Love what you do and do what you love :-)

Spread your wings and fly, you would seem beautiful to the world and the world would seem beautiful to you.
thatsbandana@gmail.com

I dont know what to say............

Good Evening :-)

Well I truly don't know what to say, sometimes we are just blank, aren't we, its happiness, its surprises, its fear, its worry, its love, its loneliness....... n number of emotions put together and the mind goes blank, but I guess on such moments just write it out, or speak to yourself or speak to a pet, speak to plants, I got these ideas from many different people I met at a workshop I participated in here at Ahmedabad Management Association.

It was fun to interact with different people, knowing new things, learning from the people around us and most of all,I felt there is so much more to do in life, usually we all come to a point and start feeling that we have done enough but here i learned that learning never ends till your last breath.

One workshop was about developing Emotional Intelligence(EI) and I guess it is much more important that trying to improve our IQ, because there we did a few tests and exercises where in you come to know where you stand in the level of EI and how to improve it with time and experience.
The other workshop I participated in was about using your creativity which every person has in him/ her some are very creative and some less creative but none are not creative.

On the whole I should say one needs to do those things which bring you closer to yourself and improve yourself too apart from the knowledge gaining it is fun to know many many new concepts and things which we never knew before.

" Whatever made you successful in the past won't make you in the future - quote by CEO HP."

Change is necessary they say and if we keep doing what we have been doing always, we will get only what we have been getting always, we cannot expect to get anything better, so we need to change with time, change as per the generation and also upgrade our knowledge and skills more than the previous day. When we do that we will see a new dimension of success. Success is not only in Profession, its also in personal life, we need to change our way of living, our way of thinking, our way of communicating and a lot more, but that does not mean we need to become like someone else.

Be yourself and improve yourself in a way that you benefit, your family benefits and if in a profession then the Organization benefits and last but not the least the Society or the community benefits. Do not live in the past, leave the past and always concentrate on the present and how to make that better.

Sharing a simple example given there, that there's a man who says that its a record in my life till date I have never ever met with an accident. When told that then surely you must be a very careful and good driver the man answers that I don't know how to drive, and the other person says Good for sure your record will remain intact till the end. A person who does nothing makes no mistakes and trust me I believe in making mistakes and learning from them rather than not doing anything in life.

Anyway enough of the learning and sharing lessons part. What about doing something else, bandana's blog has to have her touch, otherwise it would be incomplete. tomorrow try one thing when you wake up from sleep, wake up with a smile and do something unusual like......... put on music and before you begin your daily routine share a small dance with your spouse before he leaves for office or kids before they leave for the exams to School. Impossible is it,,,, try just 1 melodious song and 1 twist and turn just for 5 mins, if u do not have enough time and check it out your spouse, your kid and you will have the best of day ;-).

Life is beautiful, we just need to keep smiling. You are never completely dressed until you wear a smile, said by Mahatma Gandhiji. I guess we need to obey ;-).

Keep Smiling and I am signing off for the day and I am surely gonna share a dance tomorrow with my son, its his maths exam tomorrow and Avani is dancing all day these days, hahaha, her exams are over and she loves to sing and dance, in fact even now me n my son, we are hearing FM and he is doing his maths problems and singing along and its so much fun...........Srijan sings beautifully and I take all the credit its genetic, well his dad sings better than me ;-). Sir I have given the credit to you, you be happy :-)

I have attached a snap of Srijan of sometime back when he inserted this quote on the snap and I understood it now :-)

Good Night India and Good day to the US friends.

thatsbandana@gmail.com

My beautiful self is made up of you all

Today is Women's day and I am proud to be a woman. I want to say a few words for some of the lovely women I know and I am inspired by, it may be a long long post because the names are endless and the feelings infinite and its important for me to show my gratitude at least to a few special ones who made me what I am.

It can never begin without mentioning my mother's name, She is Pushpa Mohta, She is like the divine grace of God, All the faith and strength in me is just a fraction of what she has in her. She is the best cook, the best teacher, the best critic too. I love her a lot, though I fight the most with her ever since she has given birth to me but she forgives me every time and loves me unconditionally. I love you maa. Words can never describe what she exactly is. Never seen a lady so strong and so dedicated towards her religion, she can make anyone feel the presence of God in and around oneself. I could never match her expectations whether in hard work, cooking, prayers she does, everything in her, is far beyond my reach. I may have to take many more births to become like her.

My best friend for life Prema Aunty, She is an epitome of love and beauty, only studied till 5th Standard in kannada medium but you see her, you talk to her, cannot make out that she is anyway less than me or you the educated world. The best thing in her, she continuously learns to improve her self in every way, ever willing to share, give and receive whatever she knows. What I loved most in her, She would wake up at 5am exercise till 5.30am and at 6am you would see her bathed and fresh, dressed beautifully in a starched cotton saree and smiling then and all day long. God gave her the worst difficulty last year, she lost her 27 year old handsome Son in an accident but speak to her now, she will teach you, how to over come the grief. She sings songs hindi and English though she may never understand them and she loves Lata Mangeshkar and hears all the beautiful songs of today and the old days. She is my mothers age, but you meet her, she can give a complex to many beautiful young ladies, its her inner beauty and selfless love she has in her for every soul on earth which keeps her glowing.

My mother in law very strict, very particular about the cleanliness at home, the cooking part, the budget maintenance, the respect for elders, the handicrafts she made. She always wanted me to be like her, though again its difficult to stand up to her expectations but I learned a lot from her in life just because she was strict. Her best qualities is that she is a fighter, she lost her husband when she was so young and her 2 sons 15 and 17yr old and no support from anyone whosoever in the family but she never gave up. A very dedicated wife till her husband lived and an equally dedicated mother till date. I fight with her too, but not like I do with my mother and she does not forgive me too like my mother does but trust me she loves me though she may have complaints from me because I am not the kind of person she wants me to be, but I too always loved her and I still love her a lot for the person she is, the courageous woman who never took her physical handicap as an obstacle, she could work better than all of us. Again not so educated but always willing to learn and capable of handling all the home and outside jobs including banks, managing a factory When papaji lived, and the mother of 2 proud sons as they love her more than anything in this world. She reads books of knowledge and she always has some or the other hand work on, like embroidery, paint, sweaters, knitting laces and loves to sit with like minded people who share common interests.

Suman didi my sis in law, she was a class mate of my hubby since 2nd std. No blood relation but I am sure he could not have asked for a better sister. She taught me to love my mother in law the way she loves her, from the eyes of a daughter. I owe her to have given me a different attitude of loving your husband and in laws more than your own family where you grew up. She is a well educated lady, a teacher in real life and very very dedicated towards her duties and her work. Beyond Compare, I can again never be like her.

Can I ever complete this post, No I don't think so, because its highly impossible to mention all the different names who have helped me to see a new perspective of Life, work, relationships and things around me. If I go on writing about each person it will fill pages but yes I do want to express my gratitude to the following:

My Grand mothers, all my aunts mothers and father side, my co sister cum cousin, the greatest support of my married life Jiji, She is another very dedicated woman. My 2 Bhabhi's Anju and Teju, My female friends including wives of my male friends and Adesh's friends across the Globe, my nieces, my daughters Vandana, Srishti and Avani, All My subject teachers in School and College, my colleagues at work, my clients and the women who inspired me and encouraged me always. I'd like to mention a few names Garima, Vibhuti, Prabha, Rama di, Nupur, Nisha, Varsha, Manjusha mam, Dr. Heena Rach and the list goes on and on.

If I would not have mentioned any name or relationship whatsoever which is important to me, sI am sure those women I know and love, know that I love them and respect them for whatever they are and what they mean to me.

I salute all the above and whoever is reading this post. I truly, truly believe that my beautiful self is made up of you all.

Thank you God and Thank you all. I am proud to be ME and I am proud to know you.

Every Woman on earth whom God has sent to this world makes a difference to her family, her work and her own world.

A daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, a lover, a sister in law, a mother, a mother in law, an aunt, a grand mother, be it any role, she fits in perfectly and adapts to situations perfectly.
As Strong as a mountain at times, as weak as a creeper, as delicate as the petal of a flower and sometimes so hard that you would wonder to see the transformations in her........so imperfect at times yet so complete.

I love you.

I have attached the snap of my spiritual mother, I worship her since childhood, my Yamuna maa.

Bless me :-)

thatsbandana@gmail.com

Forgot to say hi to you..............

Hi, well strange tittle is it, but when I signed in to my blog, I felt that its been sometime I met myself, When I say myself it means me and you, you because you love to read what I write and me because I write what I love to share with you.

So its been sometime, and I forgot to say hi to you,usually it starts with a hello, hi, How are you, good evening, good morning, whatever the way you greet but it should be natural and without any pretense.

you know what, when I speak to myself and I realize that my thoughts can make me an angel at times and a devil at times, When I am filled with hatred, jealousy, fear, negativity, I turn into a devil and I shout and scream, I fight and I hate everyone around me, I hate life.
but, when I am filled with love, happiness, gratitude and positivity, I become an angel and I can actually love everyone around me and love my life too.

what does it take to be an angel, well very few things and all very simple things, which are so easy to follow but only thing we do not spare time for it.

First of all Look good, wear beautiful clothes, a compliment received pleases everyone, along with the beautiful clothes wear a beautiful smile on the face. Exercise to keep the mind and body fit, it could be physical, a game you love to play, could be spiritual, a prayer you love to say, could be meditation, a connection with God on the way.
hear a song, sing a song if you love to, dance if you want to, say hello to a child next door.
At home, do your duties and morning jobs with a cheerful mind and after all work done, when kids leave to School, hubby to office, look at yourself again and you will find that I have done a good job, everyone was happy, just because I was happy, and If you are a man then be cheerful at office with the colleagues and subordinates.

Try to spend a few minutes with a little child who has just learned to speak, nothing more refreshing than that, whether it is your child or anybody's for that matter and a few minutes with an elderly person who has lived much more life than you and any word uttered from them is like a lesson or a blessing again it could be anyone at home or outside.
Last but not the least, spend a little time with a friend on a call, or a cup of coffee, or a walk anything can be a space out of your daily routine and it makes all the difference in the world.

Staying in touch is so easy these days, through sms, emails, calls and facebook, but as they say if all the roles get mixed up then it becomes clumsy, like when colors mix they become dark, but the wise play all the roles side by side distinctively to form a rainbow.

I had a beautiful day today, I did all the above mentioned things, yes all in a day and I am feeling so good.

The snap I have attached depicts beauty in the most beautiful form God has given it to me in, my daughter with her friends. Thank you God for everything :-)

Signing out for the day, with an old quote " The world is full of beauty, when the heart is full of love "

love always
thatsbandana@gmail.com

Lazy Summers

My tittle itself shows how lazy I am feeling, hahaha, well its too hot here out at Ahmedabad and my room where I am with Srijan is on the terrace, just one room, so you can imagine the heat, I don't know what the temperature must be, but its scorching heat.

But today while thinking this way I just remembered that there were times when we(Me n Adesh) used to live in a room on a terrace in one of our houses at Raipur then, and we stayed there for almost for 5 years and around 3 years without any cooler too, but times change and we lived in different houses, in better houses and worser ones too.

Two things came to my mind, one that when I enjoyed the winter here in this room then why complain about the heat, its also a part and parcel of the fun I have been having here or the problems I have been facing here. So let me love and Enjoy this too.

Second thing that Do the rooms and the infra structure matter or the moments spent, wherever you live, I felt that Yes a nice sopihisticated infra structure does make one feel good, to stay in but If we feel good inside and love everything around wholly then any place could be the best and we could live happily there and sometimes even the best of environment cannot satisfy one if we are sad or negative inside us.

Life shows us all, good moments, bad moments, difficult moments and easy moments too but one thing is for sure which we all need to remember and always feel good about that............
"NOTHING LASTS FOREVER"

If its good also it will pass, and if its bad then also it will pass, so Don't Boast when Life is at its best and Don't regret when Life is at its worst. I learned this after seeing the best and the worst but still I can never say there may be worser things yet to come or better things too, So I just live today and every morning wake up and say Good morning to all my friends and dear ones on sms and to Myself too. And when the day ends, I Thank God because I do not know about the others but for me I have noticed
" My days are never completely happy but never completely sad either "
So I keep smiling thinking of the happy times and sometimes cry at the sad ones, but all gets over.

Hey today's post got a bit too serious, but don't worry, this will also pass, Very soon I will come with something really naughty and mischievous.
So Keep smiling and remember, Don't lose your temper - Nobody wants it :-)

thatsbandana@gmail.com