You ask this question and people would start talking of marriage, love, romance, one man,one woman, parent-child,friends, realtives, in laws, family members.... etc. etc...
Yes, all these are termed relationships here.
In all the external relationships what we all usually do, is try to make the other person happy, make the other person feel loved, care for them, give them gifts etc.. and then, we also expect from them to care for us, make us happy, make us feel loved, give us gifts and most of all, we wish them to reciproacte exactly the way we be with them or we think that they are supposed to be.
However, this rarely happens, the simple fact being that you and whomever you are in relationship with, are two different people and unique, who cannot duplicate each other. AND THEN.... all was good to begin with and slowly started changing, and this is not just about marraige or romantic realtionships, it is also about mother and child, father and child, mother in law - daughter in law, all parent figures, also its not gender based, female to female and male to male relationships too(friends). As long as we are reciprocating the way the other person is expecting, things are fine, and then things change when you start being who you are and let go of pleasing them.
What changes????
is it that the people involved change, the situations, the perceptions, the expectations, What is it that changes?
Matter of fact, You change, either you change your habit of pleasing them to gain attention, gain love, gain appreciation... or anything that you gain in it, OR, they change the same things, and both change because, if to begin with you were doing all the things for the other-to please them and, it was not about you or your happiness or you were so called sacrificing your happiness, there definitely would be a time when you can no longer do the same and you get fed up of each other.
In either case, loss of relationship is inevitable. we may think that by facing the facts and speaking the truth, things get better, but they do not always get better. They may improve if both parties involved have a desire to make it better, or what we say..... " I tried everything to make this work"
My friend, it wouldn't work any which way in the long run, unless you give yourself the permission to be the unique person that you were and you are, and you can be ( which you changed for the other) and at the same time, give the other person the permission to be uniquely who they were and who they are and can be.
When does one one start shedding all projections and expectations and starts to be who he or she is?
When you improve your relationship with yourself, when you improve your relationship with your body, when you improve your relationship with nature, when you improve your relationship with the beliefs you have about-How relationships work.... and most importantly, when you know that YOU ARE UNIQUE AND YOU CAN STOP FITTING IN BOXES CREATED IN THIE REALITY AND YOU HAVE ALL THE RIGHT TO BE YOURSELF AND EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS RIGHT. EVEN IF THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE CONSIDERED WRONG, CHECK WITHIN, IS THAT WHO YOU TRULY BE, OR YOU HAVE STARTED MIMICKING PEOPLE AROUND YOU AND TRIED TO BE LIKE THEM.
THE ONLY WRONG THING IS, WHEN YOU ARE NOT SHARING THE GIFT THAT YOU ARE WITH THIS WORLD, WHEN YOU ARE JUDGING YOURSELF DAY IN AND DAY OUT BASED ON WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU
You may ask me, are we not supposed to improve ourselves, and healthy competition helps you grow and what people think about you and when you introspect you do get better and people appreciate too, YES ofcourse you are right, however I am not wrong too.
For me, It is about outcreating yourself, not about judging yourself anymore. When I say, Yeah this is good, I am good, "How does it get any better than this?" - tool of Access Consciousness - Founder Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer.
I changed my relationship with myself after learning and using tools of Access Consciousness.
Our entire focus is on asking questions like, what we do not have? what we are not good at? what we can't change in us? and what's wrong about us? and also whats wrong about people around us? The universe gives us those answers and we end up blaming ourselves and other people, As that is how we have learned to function or rather we have been trained to be.
Can we make a conscious decision of shifting our focus to what we have, who we are, and ask, what can be created with what we currently have? And "What else is possible?"
I made that choice for me, to embrace, acknwoledge the gift that I am, the unique abilites in me, and share with the world, whoever I be fearlessly. People call me different names, people say I am self obsessed, people also say I am selfless, people say I am not setting a great example, some say that I am too good and people also say that the life I am living is not an ideal life... so on and so forth....
People would keep saying anything about you, right or wrong, good or bad, based on their awareness or ignorance. Howoever, nothing can completely define you, as you can be good and happy, you can be sad or bad, you can be intellgient and you can be childlike, you can be idiotic... you can be anyone or anything you choose to be and also, change that choice and choose differently, every moment. Are you even willing to explore so many different possibilities that you can be, and you can choose?
You receive what you are willing ask and willing to receive.
Ask and you shall receive works when we ask for more, not when we make ourselves less and define ourselves by the labels, we have been given. Start asking all that you desire to create for you.
I ask and I keep asking more and more and possibilities keep showing up. Am glad and grateful to be who I am and at the same time, glad and grateful for all the people in my life, for nature, for my body fitness, for my relationships. As I chose to break the mould of conditioning. I wrote a poem 2 years ago, sharing that here, and signing off for now.
YES, I LOVE TO SHARE AND THOSE WHO LOVE TO RECIEVE, RECEIVE WHAT THEY CHOOSE TO RECEIVE FROM ME. I AM THE UNIVERSE, AND MY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, DO YOU WISH TO BE A PART OF MY JOURNEY?
JOIN HANDS WITH ME TO MAKE OUR WORLD A HAPPY PLACE TO BE
LOVE YOU ALL AS MUCH AS I LOVE MYSELF... AND GRATEFUL ABOUT BEING BORN ON THIS BEAUTIFUL PLANET WITH ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.
thatsbandana@gmail.com
