Am i another you? Or are we both Unique?

The reason why I named this blog hour 4 myself is there was a time in my life when I wouldn't have one hour for me. When I say I wouldn't have means I didn't choose to have then.

I was a house wife, in a joint family, 2 small children then, below poverty line background, when I began my life. Family life after marriage. Today too in those terms I am still, what people choose to call an averagely successful person, and from a middle class background. From BPL to middle class, a decent progress through hard work as that was the belief instilled.

Now the fun part in all of this is,I never considered myself in any category, I always thought ( being a bollywood fan) that i am the heroine of my life, and I grew identifying with many and imitating and also wishing to be as beautiful and gorgeoua as they look externally and as strong and brave as they portray internally, the lead characters in Hindi movies :)

Way back then I didn't know there is a difference in a moive and a real life. Stories of Gods and movies, romantic and horror/ spirtual and comedy, all fascinated me.I was always a very literal person who took everything by face value and inside that child like me, was some old and wise soul who recognized the Duality in this world even as a child. I hated hypocrisy and liars.

Now i know, Karmic reasons, karmic backlogs, healing, therapies, how to come out of wherever you are stuck - through cognitive methods like NLP or energy work,mantras, affirmations etc etc... So many things I learned and progressed through in my journey of life.


In conversation with Namita Shetty a friend, a colleague and dear one yesterday when she was stuck at a CCD in Mumbai when it rained outside terribly, till late night, until she reached home at around 1.40am. we did healing, group contribution and a few heart to heart conversations. All of it just so she doesn't feel lonely there.

She told me, she would love to work with me, even before we have had this conversation, and I said sure, but am not reliable, is what people say.

She said i just wish that you be consistent in your approach, you flip very easily. Yet i would love to work with you. I said sure.

Lets give it a shot. My funda of life - We pass great, we fail we learn from so called failures. For me There are no failures.

One interesting thing we spoke off was, what if one outshines the other at work?

One feels insecure and other takes over the entire credit, (a subtle fear which generally people have when they choose partners)
which also happened a lot with me previously, as my mothers belief was "mere hath mei jash nahi likha hai."

Means i do not have recognition and appreciation in my destiny. With this belief she operated and she still does more work than any woman i know in my life and yet that goes unrecognised. I made a choice to outcreate her, which usually every child does and yet every child also feels i wish to be like my mother/ father or i do not wish to be like them.

Alignment/ Agreement or Resistance/ Reaction.... Interesting that this keeps you from becoming who you can truly be and you turn out exactly the way they are. This holds true for every person you judge in a good or a bad way.

Coming back to Namita, she is a short n cute girl and me tall Gorgeous hahaha ( peoples labels), she has learned many things and travelled the world too, which as yet i havent crossed India. She dances beautifully and I sing well, i cannot dance like her at all as yet.

Why comparing?

Well we all are taught to since childhood to learn from each other, see this child, see your siblings/ healthy competition is nice etc... In the name of all this - constant comparison.

Nowadays i do not compare, there was a time when i was sick of all the time comparing and feeling " I am not good enough"

Sounds familiar?????

Girls and guys reading this, I know me telling you, - YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. Will not change much in you unless it changes inside you.

Still i keep saying and appreciate all the beautiful and nice things i see in people. This is my uniqueness and that brings out your uniqueness through YOU. I am an expert at making people Recognize the Uniqueness in them. Also do a workshop called - Recognize the uniqueness within.

Regain the missing spark, me and Namita announced this retreat, but it didnt get through then as i was very reluctant to commit to work and life in that time due to some momentary reasons.

Here.... Am sharing all this to bring to her notice and everyone else who thinks that I am better/ or I can outshine others, or that i have the ability to be much more than where i currently am - Principle of NLP says " If you can spot it, You have got it."

This holds true for, when you think i am not in integrity, i am creating a cult, i am super honest so that i mask my lack of integrity too :) Hello there - Same as above.

Does that mean i am not like what people think I am?

NO. I am that, I am not just that, I am more than that sometimes and i am less than that too.

Nothing is permanent in me and outside me too. " Impermanence is the way of life."


When i need to i can be extremely committed and persistent and when i am not in a mood to, i may show you the other side too. They are all there the light and the dark side good and bad, right and wrong in all of us.

What surfaces in one moment may not surface in another.

Okay there are people who are more regular, disciplined, organised and people like me who are kind of not so disciplined, not so organized. However when working in a team, of organized and disciplined environment i am a great adapter.

I love to team up with people unlike me and a bit like me as its complementary.

From today those who read this post, will you change your question from " I dont know what's wrong with me?"

To


I am yet to explore, whats right about me?

I am looking forward to know, Whats Unique about me?

I would love to know in any given sitiation which is not so great... What can I be or differently?

How can I change this?

What does this situation require of me?

I have learned these questions from a modality that i facilitate and practice too called Access Consciousness ™

"Be in a question. A question empowers and an answer disempowers" - Gary Douglas.

What question can you be in which would create more for you?


My usual way of emptying my thoughts into blog post is my joy of sharing. Staying connected to one and all makes me happy :) yet its an individual journey for all of us :)

Good morning readers.
Thatsbandana@gmail.com

Can you help me?

I was pondering on my behaviour which leads to my own destruction and what came up to me is my impulsive behaviour.

Am not a great thinker. "Think before you act"
I heard it non stop ever since am born and the times when I thought were more terrible to me than when I would act spontaneously without much thinking. Most of my achievements have been result of spontaneity. Somewhere that also is a by product of impulse.

Asked question what is impulse and how does it develop, or is it a default?

Saw the dictionary meaning

impulse

ˈɪmpʌls/

noun

1.

a sudden strong and unreflective urge or desire to act.

"I had an almost irresistible impulse to giggle"

synonyms:urge, instinct, drive, compulsion, need, itch; 

whim, caprice, desire,fancy, notion

"she had an impulse to run and hide somewhere"

2.

something that causes something to happen or happen more quickly; an impetus.

"an added impulse to this process of renewal"

synonyms:inspiration, stimulation, stimulus, incitement, motivation, encouragement, fillip, spur, prod, catalyst

"passions provide the main impulse of poetry and music"


I recognized that the same thing that leads to self sabotage in me also adds to my creativity and writing and poetry and more too.

What was the revelation is that we aren't able to let go of a certain trait as we hold on to the benefit it gives and knowingly ignore the ill effects.

That is also the quality of a person who is used to seeing rhe brighter side of things.

So now, wish to ask you all

When you are supposed to see the brighter side of things like qualities in others and in events and appreciate what you have rather than what we do not have.

I practiced that always until a time came when my world was surrounded by people who only found faults in others. I started pointing out too. It was much against my natural way of being and I kept becoming frustrated and sick, until I moved out of that place.

I could no longer see the brighter side of anything then until I healed my traumas and set backs through different healing modalities. Again started seeing the brighter side in all that happened and the people associated to it. Well that served me better.

Now... The question is, are we supposed to or not supposed to see the brighter side in our own self and our so called bad qualities?

If yes then no one is wrong and nothing is wrong in this world, everyone and everything have a brighter side to it and we also do.

And if No then, please guide me why we are not supposed to see the darker side in others and the events too?

Confusing?

I have always been since childhood and hence I couldn't fit in to the normal way of people and life, so many such questions used to be running on my head.

Now am able to share it, then as a kid, I would be quiet and feel scared of the world outside. As it was never as it seemed to be, both the brighter and the darker side were different from inside

Found people who were hateful outside to be loving inside and people who were loving outside to be
Hating people from inside.

I never knew and to a great extent I still do not know well to have these different faces. Whatever is inside is outside and vice versa most of the time. Sometimes when I control I become silent and secluded, that's the only way I am able to observe others and not react or respond.

That's an effect of impulse or impulse is an effect of this default setting in me?

Today wish to get replies form those who read. Can you help me with this please?

Good morning :)

My questuons , your answers and solutions for all :)

Good morning readers, thank you for taking out the tine to read.

This morning when I woke up as usual some information downloads happen through some frequencies of the Universe and i am amazed as always at what comes to me.
Amd through me to you too. Hdigabtt? Weip?


Doctors are gaining more degrees and treatments are increasing with every passing day. Health care industry, wellness industry, healing industry, cosmic products industry, brain mapping stuff and machines around that which clearly states that there is a need for all of it and the health issues have also risen considerably over the years.

Some may debate that earlier there were diseases that were uncured and people died without treatmnet, its a better world now and atleast there are so many ways of curing things.


From my childhood till date have been visiting doctors, hospitals,healers and all sorts of ways to cure myself and my loved ones. And seen all the games that doctors play, also healers play, alao beauticians do, astrologers....and all sorts of professionals do.
Whats right about this is now you have a hundred cures for one disease and sad part is hundred new diseases which do not exist.

Isnt it funny?

To me it is all my creation as i am seeing all of this since i am born. Every where i went doctor or healer, i would ask what led to this issue and how can it be cured and more important how can it be prevented?

"Prevention is better than cure" - have heard and agree too

The biological factors, environmental factors, internal mental/ emotional factors, age factors, family history and a lot more are the reasons for disease.

The industries make products to sell and they also create products for thier own benefit. There are a few rare ones who create products for the service of mankind and those are great, however not all reach to the masses easily. The competition of the Pharma industry, business community does all that is required to subside that.

In the long run those products do reach the masses. Thats when either the creators innovate and join hands with marketing and sales people, or network well.

Now questions to you

How many of you research about any of the products you buy from internet shopping sites?

How many of you browse information about diseases on internet?

How many of you know the authenticity of the source of the information?

How many of you even care for yourself or your loved ones enough to find out whats really working and whats falsely claimed?

How many of you can truly trust anyone or anything wholly and completely, with no element of doubt?

And to those who do

How many times have you been cheated or felt betrayed by some doctor, therapist, healer, wellness studio and their products?

What i see from my experiences is that a lot of what we see is what we notice or hear from people around and form a belief and then our beliefs rule our life and we encounter similar experiences repetitively, not even knowing sometimes where the belief came from.

What was different in early days,less virtual information and more personal connect, more trust and more reliability as people knew each other personally.And also could catch hold of the person who misleaded and confront and resolve.

However, for that too strong support was required from family and friends/ relatives.

Now busy life, less time, no personal connect, yet we are running one person to another, one door to another, one way of dealing to another, one way of living to another, more stress, more competition, less fun, less stability. Mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual has becone a new jargon to use.

What is the root cause?

Why are you choosing suffering?

What is your soul purpose?

Healers questions

Do you have a family history of this disease?

What kind of routine and diet you follow?

XYZ Tests are required to check rhe deficiency/damage and the reason for this through various tests, so first get the tests done and then come.

Doctors ways


The pursuit of best School, career, profesion. Earning more money, name fame success recognition all which are promoting healthy competition


What are most people missing out to remain in or out of competition?

Is competition really healthy?

Are we all healthier than we used to be when things were simpler?

If things are simple now in your life whrn compared to before, what made it simple for you?

Ask yourself, what changed ? What kind of people are you with now?

What kind of books are you reading or sites are you browsing now?

What actions do you take for your betterment and to be healthy?

The actions that you are taking, are they working for you?

Do you sense ease and peace in life and work?

These are my questuons to you today

My grandparents never required medicines till 83 and 85 except ayurvedic/ home herbal remedies and they never got hospitalized , both died peacefuly without any major ailments. Not all the time happy people but surely healthy people.

After them i have not seen anyone even in my family following the same pattern.

I am a great observer of life and curious as a kid is to explore everything and that led me to adventurws of life that i chose.

What lessons my adventures taught me have helped thousands of people to choose wisely.

What then made me choose the roller coaster ride?

Some other day

#Random expressions #Complicated within #Curious to change #sailing between rhe high tide and low tide of life #Unedited versions


Thank you.
Thatsbandana@gmail.com

Good morning to me :)

I am a seeker.... And I found so many things in my journey. Travelling different places, meeting different people, learning different lessons of life, a student of life and a teacher to myself.

Susan Jeffers writes in her book - " Power is not the ability to make other people do what you want them to do, it is the ability to make yourself do what you wish to do."

And then I read in Doreen Virtues post once Affirm

"I am powerful and I am loved.
I am powerful and I am loving
I am powerful and I love it."

There comes a time in life when you lose all your powers, when someone amazing comes by and shows you a dream, which is a far sighted one, like a mirage in the oasis and when you reach there , there is nothing and no one. Illusion/ Maya.

Amidst the beautiful and bitter realities life showed me on my journey, I also sometimes get lost in this illusion, I am human.Also, I love to be human.

In that moment, when I am lost, you ask me who am I? Where am I? Why am I? What am I? How am I?
And my answer to all would be I don't know, in that moment it is actually very real and very unreal too.

Lines of a song in Wake up Sid - "sun rahi hun sudh budh kho ke koi mai kahani, poori kahani hai kya, kisey hai pata...."

And then the true reality shows up one day, and the illusion breaks and so do the myths associated with that illusion. That's like what I saw in a movie yesterday "A dream too good to be true."

WOW!!! I say to myself that it was a beautiful dream. And I wake up and get back to my work and travel and the nomadic life that I live.

"Safar ka hi tha mai safar ka raha"

I belong to these sometimes empty roads,and sometimes with many beautiful people around who sing n dance and walk with you, sit silently, share, listen , care and leave.

Am Glad I am in touch with what you call is my ground reality, am a traveller here with no destination.
My journey is filled with all the facets of life, that keep me human and humble. I recall here a song I hear often when I would be sad or hurt, slip n slide

I love the lyrics of the song, it's of Laura Allan...
"Whenever you feel a little crazy,
or may be too many things on your mind,
clear a little place for your dreams my friend,
leave your troubles behind.....
Slip n slide away u go, into a dream,
now they say that dreams are just for fools, I betcha fools made up those rules.... So never mind what they say, you just slip n slide away.... Coz it's okay...."

Yeah!!! Fool I am, I know it's a dream and I slip into it and never mind what they say 😊 and my daughter Avani when i told her about how it was just a dream says.... "And it's okay" 😊

Blessed and fortunate to have been gifted the beautiful children God gave to me. I did not do anything to deserve them, yet God gave me them, grateful they chose me to be born to.

I tell people, If my sharing is too much for you to take, please choose to move out of my list.
Good part is no worries no one who moves out of my life, is away from me, as we are all together on this earth and supporting each other to live, love, laugh, grow, be and do all that we do. Gratitude you came, you spent some time and left when you wanted to leave.

No coincidence my non stop music playlist which is my beautiful companion now says "jise tu bhool jaaye, khwab wo sachcha nahi...."
The dream that you forget is not a real one 😊 this is for the person who showed me the dream and like a wizard became invisible.

Good night to you and Good morning to me. I just woke up from a dream 😊

Placing my feet on the ground and grounding myself.

Now moment to moment I tread ahead. No desire dream, to seek, to find, to live, to die, to teach or to learn either. Living one moment at a time and this moment I am grateful to all the good and bad that came around. Grace of God. Hare Krishna!!!

Rest in next...

Thatsbandana@gmail.com

My relationship with relationship

Relationships, such an interesting topic to explore in this reality, reality as in the physical existence on earth, and the belief systems that people have been trained to have about relationhsips here. Now, what is a realtionship?

You ask this question and people would start talking of marriage, love, romance, one man,one woman, parent-child,friends, realtives, in laws, family members.... etc. etc...
Yes, all these are termed relationships here.

In all the external relationships what we all usually do, is try to make the other person happy, make the other person feel loved, care for them, give them gifts etc.. and then, we also expect from them to care for us, make us happy, make us feel loved, give us gifts and most of all, we wish them to reciproacte exactly the way we be with them or we think that they are supposed to be.

However, this rarely happens, the simple fact being that you and whomever you are in relationship with, are two different people and unique, who cannot duplicate each other. AND THEN.... all was good to begin with and slowly started changing, and this is not just about marraige or romantic realtionships, it is also about mother and child, father and child, mother in law - daughter in law, all parent figures, also its not gender based, female to female and male to male relationships too(friends). As long as we are reciprocating the way the other person is expecting, things are fine, and then things change when you start being who you are and let go of pleasing them.

What changes????

is it that the people involved change, the situations, the perceptions, the expectations, What is it that changes?

Matter of fact, You change, either you change your habit of pleasing them to gain attention, gain love, gain appreciation... or anything that you gain in it, OR, they change the same things, and both change because, if to begin with you were doing all the things for the other-to please them and, it was not about you or your happiness or you were so called sacrificing your happiness, there definitely would be a time when you can no longer do the same and you get fed up of each other.

In either case, loss of relationship is inevitable. we may think that by facing the facts and speaking the truth, things get better, but they do not always get better. They may improve if both parties involved have a desire to make it better, or what we say..... " I tried everything to make this work"

My friend, it wouldn't work any which way in the long run, unless you give yourself the permission to be the unique person that you were and you are, and you can be ( which you changed for the other) and at the same time, give the other person the permission to be uniquely who they were and who they are and can be.

When does one one start shedding all projections and expectations and starts to be who he or she is?
When you improve your relationship with yourself, when you improve your relationship with your body, when you improve your relationship with nature, when you improve your relationship with the beliefs you have about-How relationships work.... and most importantly, when you know that YOU ARE UNIQUE AND YOU CAN STOP FITTING IN BOXES CREATED IN THIE REALITY AND YOU HAVE ALL THE RIGHT TO BE YOURSELF AND EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS RIGHT. EVEN IF THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE CONSIDERED WRONG, CHECK WITHIN, IS THAT WHO YOU TRULY BE, OR YOU HAVE STARTED MIMICKING PEOPLE AROUND YOU AND TRIED TO BE LIKE THEM.

THE ONLY WRONG THING IS, WHEN YOU ARE NOT SHARING THE GIFT THAT YOU ARE WITH THIS WORLD, WHEN YOU ARE JUDGING YOURSELF DAY IN AND DAY OUT BASED ON WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU

You may ask me, are we not supposed to improve ourselves, and healthy competition helps you grow and what people think about you and when you introspect you do get better and people appreciate too, YES ofcourse you are right, however I am not wrong too.

For me, It is about outcreating yourself, not about judging yourself anymore. When I say, Yeah this is good, I am good, "How does it get any better than this?" - tool of Access Consciousness - Founder Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer.

I changed my relationship with myself after learning and using tools of Access Consciousness.

Our entire focus is on asking questions like, what we do not have? what we are not good at? what we can't change in us? and what's wrong about us? and also whats wrong about people around us? The universe gives us those answers and we end up blaming ourselves and other people, As that is how we have learned to function or rather we have been trained to be.

Can we make a conscious decision of shifting our focus to what we have, who we are, and ask, what can be created with what we currently have? And "What else is possible?"

I made that choice for me, to embrace, acknwoledge the gift that I am, the unique abilites in me, and share with the world, whoever I be fearlessly. People call me different names, people say I am self obsessed, people also say I am selfless, people say I am not setting a great example, some say that I am too good and people also say that the life I am living is not an ideal life... so on and so forth....

People would keep saying anything about you, right or wrong, good or bad, based on their awareness or ignorance. Howoever, nothing can completely define you, as you can be good and happy, you can be sad or bad, you can be intellgient and you can be childlike, you can be idiotic... you can be anyone or anything you choose to be and also, change that choice and choose differently, every moment. Are you even willing to explore so many different possibilities that you can be, and you can choose?

You receive what you are willing ask and willing to receive.

Ask and you shall receive works when we ask for more, not when we make ourselves less and define ourselves by the labels, we have been given. Start asking all that you desire to create for you.

I ask and I keep asking more and more and possibilities keep showing up. Am glad and grateful to be who I am and at the same time, glad and grateful for all the people in my life, for nature, for my body fitness, for my relationships. As I chose to break the mould of conditioning. I wrote a poem 2 years ago, sharing that here, and signing off for now.

YES, I LOVE TO SHARE AND THOSE WHO LOVE TO RECIEVE, RECEIVE WHAT THEY CHOOSE TO RECEIVE FROM ME. I AM THE UNIVERSE, AND MY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, DO YOU WISH TO BE A PART OF MY JOURNEY?

JOIN HANDS WITH ME TO MAKE OUR WORLD A HAPPY PLACE TO BE

LOVE YOU ALL AS MUCH AS I LOVE MYSELF... AND GRATEFUL ABOUT BEING BORN ON THIS BEAUTIFUL PLANET WITH ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.

thatsbandana@gmail.com

Fearful to Free

Most of the times when I begin to write am unaware of what is the tittle going to be, or what content, what do i wish to share.... same as now.

Have you ever been in a space where you feared something would happen and constantly you kept thinking and it got created just the way you thought it would be?

I have been many times in that space and every time the same thing got created with more intensity. With every passing event corresponding to that fear, i would get even more fearful. I fought my fears, thought that I came out of them victoriously, when i saw that after all pain and suffering i went through I achieved great results, I did it. and there is nothing to fear actually and every fear can be overcome. So much so that I also take sessions on " Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" in India. People are happy with the information and tools i provide there and also I have implemented those and achieved a lot through them.

All our fears have underlying emotions which we fail to notice, though I did it, as I am now in the field of healing the mind, body and soul, worked on so many people across the country, created so many miracles and amazing transformation in peoples lives. You must be wondering what am I upto while writing all this... Well its something I went through as recently as yesterday.

I had this huge fear of losing my loved ones, sometimes in relationships(what we call break ups) sometimes losing them to death, sometimes just losing them because they aren't interested to be with me anymore, as I am too difficult to handle for people for longer times... and so on, so much crap around this I kept saying to myself, every time I lost someone in the journey of life. So much of me I lost in trying to hold people back in life. Came to a space where nothing matters, whether people be or not be, whether I be or not be... only thing I couldn't overcome is the fear of my sons death, from where it came, which lifetime, which incident of life, which thing triggered that, is immaterial, its the intensity that I am talking of and I have seen mothers who lost their young children to death and I have been working on making people aware, that life is very precious, never give up on it, for some silly reason, like a grade in the exam, not clearing the boards with 90%, not getting through an IIT, not having a boyfriend or a girlfriend, break up and many more such reasons. How much ever i preach, I speak about all the accomplishments of my life, I couldn/t get rid of my fear.

Yesterday I took a session from one of my colleaugue and also later took the help of my mentor and felt a lot lighter. Things got better too in my space. I realized something that it was not the fear that was troubling me, it was my need to be troubled for some reason or the other was troubliing me, the great sense of achievement I got when I overcome obstacles and troubles, which gave me a great ego boost and a feeling that I can handle everything. WOW!!!! Whats so great about it?

it is that this gave me a sense of worthiness and my self esteem goes up. Now if you look at it, who would require such ego kicks in life, a person who somewhere has a low self esteem, and why would a person have a low self esteem?

The reason is the definitions of self esteem, the definitions of worthiness, the definitions of being a good girl, being a good mother, being a good daughter, beign a good daughter in law that you have heard non stop from people and seen in television serials and movies and stories and so much more, all the point of views people have in this reality about who is good and who is bad. This is not just with women, the men also face the same, what makes him a good father, brother, son, lover, husband.... etc etc....

What would it take for all of us to move beyond the defined roles of this society and culture and religion and explore our beingness?

What is beingness, you may ask? well it is differnt for different people. For some it may be enjoying life sitting at home, watching tv, raising children, attending parties... etc... for some it may be a corporate job 9 to 9 and that which gives them a sense of being who they wish to be.
For some it may be being able to provide enough comfort and money, or luxury to family by working to earn the money in anywhich way. For some it may be going to temples, reading books, sharing knowledge, meditating, dancing, painting... For some it may be shopping, spending time with friends, signing cheques and enjoying being the director of a company and not having to do much there... it differs from people to people. I have tried all these roles almost and more than these.

Is anything right or wrong here, my point of view, NO. Whatever works for us is good. The problem is that in a family, we expect people to be like either one of the members decides that all are supposed to be. And when there is no one who cares, then it could be like do whatever you wish to do, I care a damn.... How many families can truly recognize each persons uniqueness and allow members to grow up on thier strengths and abilities and not one persons strengths, fears, opinions and shortcomings. How much of ease is ruined in this rat race?

Still, all of us keep running in this, trying to be like others(like my mother, my father, my uncle, my aunt, my mentor, my lover, my husband, my wife). There, in childhood and as i grew to see or be like others and in another family after marriage, facing the same more or less, I lost all my self worth, thinking that I am good for nothing and then in trying to prove that I am something, I invited challenges, overcome them and kept on running behind this pattern to prove myself. Until Yesterday, after all the work that I did to heal that fear in me, i realized its not about fear, or anything that i perceive in my space, its my need to prove that I am..... Whatever adjectives I may add here, a good mother.... wife, lover, friend....student, teacher.... etc...

Today wrote this out loud, to tell the world, I am who I am. Sometimes I am good, sometimes horrible, sometimes fearful to the core, sometimes brave like a soldier, sometimes the most faithful person to be with and sometimes the most disloyal woman, sometimes brutally honest, sometimes a big liar, who keeps lying to others and most often to myself about me, and the adjectives i love to add to my name....

Well, if this resonates with you when you read this, Forget all the adjectives you have given to yourself so far, the good and the bad ones... and Say it aloud with me.

I grant myself the permission to be weak, to be strong, to be boring, to be enthusiastic, to be sexy, to be dull, to be fearful, to be brave, to be doubtful, to be confident, to be sad, to be joyful, to be guilty, to be angry, to be calm, to be patient, to be constructive, to be destructive, to be greedy, to be manipulative, to be a liar, to be honest, to be innocent, to be childish, to be mature, to be arrogant, to be an exceelent communicator................ (you can add all that you think you are or you wish to be... here) and I grant myself the persmission to be whatever the hell I choose to be in that moment and the next moment I can be different. I grant myself the permission to explore all kinds of emotions, all ways of being, all of me and LIVE in totality. I grant myself the permission to receive and give everything i choose to give and receive. I decide TODAY that I would NOT allow anyone to judge me and neither would I judge myself. I grant myself the permision to stop judging other people based on my fiXed point of views. I GRANT MYSELF THE PERMISSION TO BE WHO I WOULD LOVE TO BE AND OTHERS WHO THEY WOULD LOVE TO BE.

When I grant myself the permission to share freely what i feel, irrespective of whether what i write is right or wrong, good or bad, I set myself free. FREE TO BE ME.

Would you like to be the same to you?

if yes, get in touch with me and explore new ways of being. Join hands with me to make your world a happy place to be.

signing off for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com

Simple Joys of Life

Yesterday in my morning message to all, I shared an experience as follows with a question.

Today is vasant Panchami/ Saraswati Pooja, The Hindu people worship the Goddess of Knowledge and Music Saraswati on this occasion.

As kids we used to wear yellow clothes, decorate the prayer room, the Goddess idol, keep the school books in the prayer room, to pray to God to bestow success in our studies,,,,etc... and also this day marked the change of season from Winter to Spring. There may be many more spiritual and scientific significance to the occasion and what is being done, but for me as a kid, it was fun and joy doing all this and am sure for all the kids around it was fun. The innocence the children had in those days made them believe that they would study well and sing well by celebrating this way.

I shared this to simply mention that in all the Indian cultures, traditions and festivals, of different religions relevant or irrelevant to today's time, generation of Google, there was this innocence in the kids, who believed things so literally without much of questioning.

The kids of today are perfect the way they are for this age, and I appreciate their logical thinking and smartness. I miss the simplicity and sense of wonder, the belief in miracles that we had.

My question was - What can we do as a whole, to support children be joyful and innocent?

What elements can we add as parents within us, in our daily life which can create fun in simple ways around us?

I am grateful to the friends who responded to my question and sharing here the answers I received from different people

We should share more positive news compared to news about the things which project the world to be a bad place to live in.

Parents should share short stories with moral values, and enact them to make it fun to hear and remember.

Photo comics, a friend shared a link to comics online, which can be shown to kids.

Cooking together as a family and each of them participating in some way.

Give them the freedom to choose

Genuine appreciation and showing ways to choose through indirect methods

Take kids out to parks, natural places, beaches etc... where they are in touch with nature and also play with them there.

laugh on silly things with the kids, they love it.

Be a kid with the kids, play around, fool around using pranks....

What if we could be parents out of the joy of being a parent and express the gift the children are to us? Would not beign thier best friend add more joy to their life than we being superior?

We should find joy and innocence in daily life, like our parents did in those days, Children learn from us

Just be you and spend time with them

Sing songs, dance with them, go out, play and share bed time stories

Do things for the fun of it, even if it may be stupid, being like a child for one day in a month and cherish those moments and responses.

First learn to be happy yourself, everything else will follow

A friend wrote it was fun to watch girls dressed up beautifully and a delight to eyes.

I may have missed a few answers, yet shared as many as I could.

One friend wrote to me in sadness " Being a kid... I was totally worry free, it was the best phase of my life, I remember playing with friends and doing all masti, was the best memories, playing luka chhippi, kho kho, throw ball and fighting with other groups of girls at school. As a kid you must enjoy being a kid, that life will never come back again. Feeling Nostalgic."

This made me for a moment really sad, then I just said - great u shared this, reflect on what u wrote and change everything to present tense, and how you can bring that energy back in the now.

then she wrote - " I am totally free and happy. it is the best phase of my life. I am playing with my friends and doing all masti. I am playing all sorts of games and enjoying. As a kid I am enjoying, being a kid, being myself. This life I am creating again and again, feeling blessed."

AND THIS WAS IT. I felt so amazing to read this and said to myself, can it not be so simple??? does it have to be so complex, being a responsible parent????

Well, I shared all answers, you may have your own answer, am not writing this to suggest anyone anything, this is to share the joy that i felt, writing what I wrote, sharing it with all, receiving all the answers, and reading this last one my friend wrote when she changed the whole nostalgic feeling of the past to feeling blessed in the present.

Life can be simple, when we are ready to live the simple joys of life, simply :)

Looking forward to more writing, sharing, questioning, receiving and enjoying being me, the kid or the grown up or the wise or the foolish, whoever I am :) Irrespective of whether I am a responsible parent or no, I prefer to be a Joyful parent, a happy being and allow my children to be joyful and happy too. And to be honest, I used to take my kids out to parks, I used to play with them, I used to laugh at silly things with them, i used to share stories with them, I used to sing and dance with them.... and also study with them, do projects with them, paint, sketch, do rangoli, cook.... everything I have done with my kids, and even stupid things, then what changed in me.... I started comparing myself with the other parents and felt guilty about being me and changed who i was to something I could not be and there the joy left me.

My request to the children and the parents, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP COMPARING YOU AND YOUR PARENTS WITH OTHERS. WE ARE ALL UNIQUE IN OUR OWN WAYS. NO NEED TO FIT IN. We can be responsible with having fun and being joyful simply by the fact that we are good the way we are and our children are superb the way they are. When ever change comes naturally from inside, then we can be joyful about the change too, rather than trying to force change. Changing for the sake of improving self or the children can be substituted by, Change is essential and as we grow we change naturally and we can be in allowance of the changes in us and in the children and support them to be joyful about the changes inside and in the environment.

Sharing genuine stories of fun and fear also, but along with that sharing that every fear can be overcome and how you did it as a kid, as a teenager, as a parent... all that allows them to know that you are human and you also have been through what they may be going through.

Again, coming back to being simple, no serious talks.... so there are already many things given above and you may ask yourself, what would you love to be and do as a kid, and do that with your kids :) Build your creativity beyond limits and Enjoy parenting.

rest for next.....signing off for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com

Are you confined in commitment?

This morning am writing this for myself and many others who can resonate with what I am sharing. I usually write one morning thought everyday on what's app, Facebook, etc... today what I wanted to share cannot be explained in a short message and its kind of important to reach to the world around me :)

Sharing excerpts from the book "Feel the fear and Do it Anyway" - by Susan Jeffers.

" Commitment, as I am using the term, means consciously giving 100% - everything you've got" - to each aspect of life. Including work, family, friends, leisure, personal growth, hobby, contribution, alone time, spirituality.....etc. whatever it is for you which you would like to do regularly?

"Commitment doesn't mean it has to last forever, but while you are there commit yourself 100%. By doing this, the quality of your life will improve 100%. ACT AS IF YOU REALLY COUNT."

" For example, my job as an executive director of the Floating Hospital brought me great deal of of joy and satisfaction, but after 8 years I began to feel I was ready for another kind of challenge. Since I was totally committed to The Floating Hospital, I was determined that it would operate just as smoothly after my departure as before. I began breaking in for someone to replace me. I began delegating more and more. I gradually familiarized the board of trustees to the new person I thought would be perfect for the job. I prepared everyone for my leaving, so you see that even though I was on my way out, I was committed to the job 100%.
At the same time, I was totally committed to having my life work after I left my job. In my free hours, I began teaching, writing and increasing my psychotherapy practice. In 2 years the ground work had been laid for the future of both, The floating hospital and my new career."

All this and more when i read sounded so familiar to me and hence I applied for the training of this workshop and needless to say, I am an authorized Trainer of "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" - workshops in India.

The gist is that, whatever your story may be, whatever your priorities may be, or however your life may look like now.... Do you know?

What works FOR YOU?
What does not work For YOU?
Where are your commitments, confining you?
What new commitments you would like to make?
In order to hold on to your past commitments which are no more serving your highest good, how much are you separating from you and what you would truly like to be?

Commitments can be made to people, places, patterns of behavior, jobs, career options, degrees, gadgets, old definitions of reality, methods of dealing with your emotions..... and a lot more.

It may have worked at one given point of time, it may not work now. There is no right or wrong career option, right or wrong person to be in a relationship with, right or wrong way of dealing with your emotions, right or wrong city to live in, right or wrong pattern of behavior or work to own, right or wrong gadget to use..... What's wrong then? or What's right then?

My point of view, may sound interesting to you or vice versa, Wrong is holding to those things mentioned above which no longer work for you and demand you to compromise on Being YOU..... and Right is choosing that which would allow you to BE YOU.

Let go of the commitments that confine you and choose greater possibilities. I have learned this from Access Consciousness and the different levels I upgraded myself in, the field of personal growth. I am making choices which are lighter for me, and also not in judgment of other peoples choices. We all have a right to choose what's best for us, provided we are aware. if we are not aware, I recommend that Be more Aware of YOUR dreams and desires, your areas of interest, your attributes, your likes and dislikes and as Susan says " ACT AS IF YOU REALLY COUNT"

If what I say, makes sense, Join hands with me to make your world - A happy place to be :)

I choose to contribute - Contribution in the way Susan says means beginning exactly where you are, looking around, seeing what needs to be done and doing it. this could relate to your family, friends, your community, your country or the world at large.



Signing off for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com

This isn't about being strong, its about being fragile :)

A very good morning to my readers and the people who love to receive my morning messages everyday, I begin writing this post with Gratitude to all of you.

This morning a whole lot of information came intuitively to me and as usual I wished to share it with all, but it wasn't short enough to write in one sms, so here you go.......

Yesterday we were talking me and my mentor Dr. Neeta Kapadia (to know more about her and her fabulous work to mankind visit www.soultemplenet.org and www.isolve.guru) about a woman I adore in my life, who is suffering from Ovarian Cancer. As a healer and lover of her, I came to meet her and facilitate change within her and allow her speedy recovery to show up. She is getting healed faster, God's grace.

So in discussion I realized that the increasing rate of Cancer in woman is alarming and sad too. Am not sharing here the metaphysics of diseases as that is something, we all should learn out of our own interest to ensure good health through a healthy mind and body. Whenever I am in question I receive information and answers from the Universe. Today what I received was that - A woman - metaphorically her heart is like an egg.

How is an egg in its original form?

Can be broken easily, can be used in various forms.An Egg in every form is useful, no matter what, whether you boil it or cook it.(me being a plant products eater, cannot mention the various forms an egg is useful as, though for sure I know it is useful always). It has protein which is one of the vital elements required for human race to survive.

Like an Egg Fragile on the outside and Fluid on the inside is how a woman is and in that form when nurtured and cared for it has the capacity to create new life, and it beautifully solidifies the fluid in her into a new being, gives birth to a new self, an extension of itself. When boiled under pressure it is capable of being cut into halves, splits, fragments. When cooked, it converts into a thing to be served to eat by all, but in its original form it is a very beautiful example of how a creator is.

In order to prove ourselves strong, be independent, or in the - not willing to receive mode, we woman lose the essence of our being, the fragility and the fluidity. Some cases we also turn stone cold. Whatever the reasons may be, external or internal, the loss is ours.

How does one maintain that essence then?

By being willing to nurture ourselves, to be open to receive in whatever way the Universe wishes to gift us love, care, affection, nurturing, nourishing without any terms and conditions. Now does that mean we take it from anyone, NO - We choose. We choose by our inner knowing.... and without self doubt.

Before anything else by recognizing - Say " I recognize that....."
I am fragile, I am fluid, I am flexible, I am useful, I am vulnerable, I love to receive love, I love to be pampered, I love to be taken care of, I enjoy touch, I enjoy being a child, I am romantic, I am soft, I create, I am a creator, I am beautiful, I am one with myself and I am okay to be me, I am powerful, I break my mold to form new life, I nourish and nurture even when used but today I MAKE A CHOICE

A CHOICE TO OKAY TO BE ME.

A Mythological story says, Ahilya a lady turned into a stone by the wrath of curse and when Lord Rama with his purest intention and love in his soul, touched the stone, even after years, the stone turned back into the beautiful woman she used to be and was liberated. I know what it means to be loved by the purest intention and what soulful love is, I am grateful to have people in my life who have loved me unconditionally, my father, my brothers, my husband, my lover, my son, my friends............... BUT this was only and only possible when I worked on the inner being which was converted stone cold and when I allowed myself to be fragile, be fluid, be vulnerable, flow and connect to the essence of me within me. I respect the male in me, I love the masculine side of me to, I am one with it. I have been through and done all the things that most of us do in ignorance, now I choose, by awareness and not by ignorance.


I am not writing this blog for men and parents to understand and save the girl child, not kill it, or not disrespect it. I am sharing this for us woman to know ourselves and be open to receive and allow ourselves to let go of the need to be anything different than who we are within. Not by external pressure, not by force and not by the need to prove that we exist and we matter are we supposed to give in, and give up the essence of our feminine self. If circumstances force you, choose to change them, you have the power to create what you wish for in your life and YOU ARE THE MOST AWESOME CREATOR OF THIS WORLD.

Hey you BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!!!!! BE PROUD TO BE YOU, FRAGILE OUTSIDE AND FLUID WITHIN. NURTURE YOURSELF, BE USEFUL NOT USED, DO NOT WAIT TO BE SHAPED UP THROUGH SOMEONE OR FOR SOMEONE, DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

I do not know how much sense it makes to you when you read this, however this is something which came to me, and I shared it as I usually do. For the Men, my message is that -
Dude!!!! You too have a feminine side in you, acknowledge that, get in touch with that and adore the woman in and outside you. Trust me, your masculine side would feel proud of you when you love the feminine in you and outside you with soulful love and purest of intention. You would see your mother, your daughter, your wife, your lover, your sister, your female friends respecting you for who you are and in turn you will get to see what the women in your life are capable of creating by being in allowance.

I read this short prayer this morning which is applicable for all, men and women.

"Oh Great Spirit, Remove from Me the Things that Block My Usefulness to You. Remove from My Day All Thinking that is Out of Harmony with Your Ways. Grant Me Your Peace and Allow Me to Function as a Hollow Bone."

~ Frank Fools Crow, Ceremonial Chief - Western Teton Sioux.

I would say " My creator, Remove from me all thinking that is out of harmony with the role I have chosen to play and allow me to be me."

signing out for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com

On a writing spree :)

hello friends, and a big hello to the writer within me.... long time no see, i keep writing my morning messages and share it with so many people but long time I haven't penned down anything on my blog. Today I am starting again hoping to continue it on a regular basis, not for anyone else for myself because I love to share my views in words.

Facebook, I joined long back and earlier it used to be like a personal profile where I would share my family pics and the friends I would add would be the people I knew well. The comments and compliments would all be sincere and sometimes heart warming and sometimes give a sense of lack if someone told me something I would wish to hear about what I have written or shared. For example near and dear one saying that do not make it a public affair your family things and they were right in doing so, the person I was then wouldn't understand as I loved to express and for me this whole world was like my own big family. I used to find it difficult to categorize between who are well wishers and who are faking it. All through life have been advised and protected as to not be so open as people are not the way I think they are.

As i grew in terms of maturity and came to know that one can choose whom to share with and not share with people who are just curious to know your stories and either laugh behind your back or talk about how dumb I am. I started living aloof, all by myself a few friends, a few things to share and most of the things to manage myself within me. It worked well and I learned to stay silent and look deeper within me. With family members still I would be that woman who would share everything irrespective of whether they like to hear or do not.

I grew further, into the journey of healing, knowing the self better, knowing how we create dis- eases in our space and how to work on them. Started meeting many different kinds of people, so many workshops, sessions, trainers, participants, books, learning from life and people around and then learned how to share, what to share and when to share, with whom to share and who would not be interested to listen to me or my words.

Now the sharing was restricted yet it was open, depending on the other person's willingness to be or not to be with me. One very important thing I learned in this process about myself was that I am a person who loves to be open in conversations and am fearless to share anything with anyone and which makes it difficult for the people unlike me to digest the way I be. The question then was, do I continue being me or stop?

I took up the latter for a while and then came back to being me. I realized that when I am me, I am free. There is no other freedom in this world which one seeks, not the freedom to work or be at home, not the freedom to cook or not cook, not the freedom to entertain relatives or not do that, not the freedom to share views with all or with few people, not the freedom to write or not write, not the freedom to have many friends or none at all, not the freedom of being right or being wrong..... the only and most liberating factor of being free is Being me.

Now a days I am me all the time, sometimes it makes people feel good and sometimes not. Sometimes people think I am successful, sometimes not. Sometimes people agree to me, sometimes not. Sometimes I am right and sometimes wrong. Sometimes I am able to heal my clients and make them find relief and sometimes not. Sometimes my workshop is a huge success in terms of financial gains, sometimes not. My family members are happy with me sometimes and sometimes not. I am happy and sometimes I am not.

In all these moments I do not strive to make things right or better, I only remind myself that I got to be me, and I am free when I am me. If there was no need of a person like me in this existence I would not have been placed here in the first place. AND THE BEST PART IS THAT WHEN I GIVE MYSELF THE FREEDOM TO BE ME, i ALLOW OTHERS TO DO THE SAME :)

Does that mean we never improve, or not strive to make things better?? NO
Yes we do improve, make things better within us, but not out of compulsion or because other people want me to change. Change is inevitable, but when change happens naturally from within, and not with a seed of not being enough, then the change is permanent and we do not go back to place where we started from. we only move forward with time and in that journey people join, people leave on their own and you hold to no one except your own faith in YOU and Your uniqueness. A strong knowing is always motivating you from within and no external forces or circumstances can stop you from moving forward. There is no pride, no ego in being the way you are, its about embracing your dark and your light, its about embracing the uncertainty of life and You :)

I love myself and I love the people who love me with no judgments :)

signing off for the day...... see you soon again....

Are YOU doing it ????

Sometimes the mind is blank and sometimes cluttered with thoughts, today is strange mix of both...... felt like sharing it by my best way of expression, my blog............

How to deal with your mind ???? Lots of ways, different therapies, one of which I learned, it helped me a lot, but does anything help unless you practice it regularly, It does not, no matter what steps you take for self improvement but if you stop working on it, you stop growing or improving in that direction.

A person who is doing something, like diet control, exercise, Yoga, etc... to reduce weight, as soon he or she stops and again the mind and body responds to the latest habits and not the ones done previously.

If you are learning music, or following any hobbies and you stop learning, and most of all stop practicing and you will see the difference in a few years in you, your singing quality would deteriorate.

What is most important, what we are learning today, what we learned yesterday, what we are going to learn tomorrow, or What we are doing today, what we did yesterday, what we will do tomorrow.

We all, our education system, our parents, teachers, all of us focus on learning, learning and continuously learning.......

When are we going to change this and start doing things and learn to do things, not simply learn, taking steps ahead, one by one exactly in the direction of your goals or purpose of life.

Dream, we tell children, work for your dreams and we stop them by the burden of unnecessary knowledge which does not help them to fulfill dreams but it stops them from believing in their dreams or sometimes even believing that they are able enough to fulfill their ambitions and dreams, by labeling them or tagging them with the so called " Good boy/ girl" or " bad boy/girl"

And this tagging is done on the basis of the marks, of the habits they possess by following the so called " who know everything" Elders & Teachers, but people forget that people change, everyday, every moment, we all do and how can we tag anyone or label anyone positive or negative on the basis of what they are doing today.

It is fine to guide, on the basis of today, what not to do, or what to do for future but labeling them is like, we are tying them with a heavy chain, inside the world's zoo in different cages, and their mind starts believing that they are the label which is outside their cage, and not what they are inside.

This blog might get a bit too long but then, this is just a beginning, to ask my readers to believe in themselves and not the labels, and not just learn but start doing what is positive and what will take them closer or one step ahead to their goals and avoid those things which pull them one step back from their goals of life.

Start working on YOURSELF, YOUR DREAMS, YOUR AMBITIONS, YOUR PURPOSE, YOUR LIFE, YOU............ because it is your life, and everything else associated to your Individuality, every choice you are making today is making you what you are today, and every choice you make in future will make you what you will be tomorrow, but "you cannot build a reputation on what you are going to do"........ so start doing it NOW.

Just do it..........

signing off for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com

Where the mind is without FEAR......

Today I do not know what I am writing should be shared or No, it very rarely happens that I give a second thought on sharing what I feel, but today because it is about an event that has deeply affected the mass, and Thanks to the Media to have highlighted it so, may be to bring justice to the Girl who died or may be to have high TRP’s. No I am not against the Media and the work it does, because media is a very powerful tool for mass communication and it can be used for such things and a lot more.

I usually never give my comment on current affairs, because I am very much out of all these, hardly follow news, which is of course not a very good habit and one should be aware of what’s happening around the world. What Happened to the Girl who got gang raped, was cruel and hanging to death also would be a punishment too small for the criminals, If I were to decide may be I would say chop their hands and let them live, so that they can never touch themselves again leave aside other women.

But the very thought of doing something cruel is again heading me towards becoming a criminal. I am not against what Media is doing, but Yes I am against the fear that is spreading across young girls and women too because of such events being highlighted to this extent in the name of awareness.

Many more such crimes happen, there are babies being raped who do not even know how to defend, there are woman being burnt by their own family members for Dowry, there are women who have to live everyday compromising on their little and big desires and dreams and crying every day and living a life as good as dead, woman who are not good looking suffering because of the way people look at them and they perceive themselves to be ugly,,,,,,,,,,,, endless list, suffering is all over, masked and unprotected. Media does to some extent create awareness and also encourages a lot of good things. I am happy about those and also not unhappy about this news.

The Suffering of that girl is undoubtedly very traumatic. It can shake the ground under the feet of all women to even think of such an incident. This post is for the girls and the women who are deeply in fear, Stop fearing, Stop getting scared, Work on Yourself, Prepare yourself in a way that you can defend such atrocities happening to YOU. If media after this event shows the many woman who have learned self defence and they give an answer themselves to the criminals without waiting for the court of Law which takes too long a time to decide what should be done, I am sure crimes would be lesser and criminals would be scared rather than the victims.

Girls Take charge of your life and learn not to give in, not even be weak. I don’t mean to say compare yourself with Men, or suppress Men, No, Men are our biggest support system and without them we would not be able to survive too. We need to respect them and take them hand in hand as a counter part of life, but then stop fearing, stop thinking that what if something like this happens to me. IT WONT, if only You decide to not let it happen to YOU.

The World is beautiful, and we can make our world beautiful by learning to take charge of our lives and also the beauty is that a Lady can take charge of a generation of a family and make the whole generation fearless, educated, courageous, responsible and Lovable. Take charge to not make criminals but make wonderful people. JOIN HANDS WITH ME TO MAKE THIS WORLD A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO BE.

I cannot do it alone, but I have made my world beautiful and believe me I have no fear, I want every woman to feel the same and Live with a thought that something so cruel will never happen to me, because I won’t let it happen, I am not boasting about myself, because none of us can predict what will happen in the next second, may be something difficult is in store or may not be, but in todays world where we learn that Ask and you shall receive, ask for a mind without fear, and believe me YOUR MIND HAS ALL THE POWERS IN THIS UNIVERSE. EXPLORE YOUR POTENTIAL AND LIVE IT TO THE FULL.

Love you all who took out the time to read my post, and if you disagree, I have no regrets because that is my perception and people may have different perceptions, and they have the right too, I respect all views and opinion as much as I respect mine.

Sharing a poem of Rabindranath Tagore which I love a lot
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Signing off for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com.

Existence

Wondering what existence means, the dictionary meaning is whatever is, the being, is existing. I had read a status of a friend on facebook few months back,
"Most people suffer from merely existing versus really living. Don’t get caught in a rut; get out of it if you are. Explore. Play. Go beyond your comfort zone. Don’t lean on the excuse “I don’t have time to try new things.” It is as tragic and ridiculous as saying “I don’t have time to breathe.” New experiences are life. Live deeply."

I loved this status and felt so deeply for this young girl who shared this quote, though she was out of Fb after sometime and I never spoke to her after that, It is fun to explore, to play, to go beyond your comfort zone and try new things, but the belief systems we are brought up in right from childhood, make so much impact on our minds that before anyone else, we stop ourselves and we dig a hole of fear and do not even dare to look around and confront our own fears, simply because of the duality in mind within.

The question is how can one come out of this duality, one needs to actually ignore all the so called knowledge gained, drop the entire belief system we have formed in ourselves, and let go off the self and become an observer and look at life as a third person, many a times we understand the situations after that, and react in a better way, still there are some incidents which are unavoidable and inevitable, the reason for those incidents is unknown or may be if we know also looking deeply inside us, then also we cannot avoid them from happening. "Let go" are two simple words but very difficult actions, and any thought without action is merely a day dream or an illusion. How long can one live in an illusion or dream, not long and one day when the you confront the truth it is terrible.

What next ????? is what we keep asking ourselves after such reflections to the inside. Awareness does not come easily, but once you become aware, it is even more difficult till you become completely free, this in between stage of the connect to your subconscious, and connect to the super conscious is a hard task to undergo, but when you step on a journey to the unknown, you cannot return either, because when you return , your longing to learn more, keeps you upset,and till you reach there, you are always in a dilemma.

And after all this trouble one takes and reaches the destination, he realizes that the answers are not in the destination, they were in the journey and just being in it, just being the way you are, just loving yourself, just accepting yourself the way you are and being okay with it and loving others the way they are being okay with them, And Eureka, you found it, the key to happiness, which was simple, but to be simple, one needs to go through a lot of complications, to understand truly what simple means and to value simplicity.

Simple is Beautiful, I pray for myself, one and all I know to learn the art of being, being simple, being beautiful not in appearance but inside.

Signing off for the day, see you again

Keep Moving on, is what all say.....

Today my Cousin Expired, morning I was very happy and excited about some new purchases, some fun talks, with Hubby dear and many more things, and suddenly this news came which started making me think.............

Is it worth keeping away from people, completely, is it good to keep in touch in some way, may be messages, social networking sites, calls, emails, or it should be like, people who need you will call you and talk to you, but for the rest you need not be worried. Life goes on at all ends, our life and the other peoples lives too, may it be relatives, friends and also extended family, sometimes your own family too, when the children grow up and start staying outside.

One thing I know giving space is important to all, let them be kind of, but again to what extent one should be involved is a question because today when I lost my cousin then I felt the last time I spoke to him and met him was in May 2012 when another cousin's wife expired. Time moves with its pace, and we too keep moving forward, is it essential to look back once in a while to the people in the family and close friends to simply say a Hello How are you, if not a long talk, I don't know, but feeling very low today, that why do we all get so busy in our lives that we do not have time to look at other people, who are far and also who are near sometimes.

Priorities is the name we give to all that we love to do, and consider the other things not so important, I only know one thing which I noticed in my life, though not all the people react that way, but when I would call anyone on their birthday or anniversary, once in while, people would always feel great about it, and appreciate the call made and occasion remembered.

off late reduced all of it, got more busy in life and then I also realized that probably the others who do not remember are already busy, and have different priorities, what should one do ????? Stop calling people who don't call you or still be in touch because it makes you feel good or make a pact kind of to yourself that if someone never calls me even after I made several calls then I need to stop.

I guess the third option seems fine, Well, I wish I had more views on this from different people and so that we can come to a conclusion, as to what is the correct way of being in touch.

Signing off, coz my mind is revolving at the same point again and again and not finding any correct answer.............

Untitled

How strange anything looks when there is no title to it, like a person without a name, one of my trainers told me the most favorite word of a human being is a person's name. I believed in it too, taught my students during sessions that it is important to remember names and calling people by the name makes a difference in the conversation.

Today is a special day, not because it is some good occasion or some festival etc.. it is a day when I decided to take out a few days from life and look into myself without the influence of others. Deactivated all social networking sites and accounts and thought How does life feel like without these things which have become compulsory kind of, in today's date, though in my own circle there are people who are totally out of Facebook, Twitter, Linked in etc.. and even if they are in, they are inactive. I used to tell them all, that what stops you from being connected to the world that way, it is a good medium to express and share your views. Strange that I myself decided to remove my name from all of these to venture into a new journey, the journey of the unknown, I do not know so far how long I can keep away, because people believe and I too that I am a peoples person and cannot keep away from people, this is a test I am taking, for myself, I may pass, I may fail, pass/ fail was never an issue in my life, I would be equally happy in both during exams, though I never failed,,,,I was an average student and in work and other aspects too, as per the world parameters, I am average.

Well that is not a concern, I am happy being the way I am. Sharing here that for a person who is very expressive it is difficult to be quiet and for a person who is very quiet it is difficult to understand the talkativeness, though extreme of anything is bad, but learning the balance is a challenge of life.

When I say bad, again, bad and good are relative terms. but excess and little are not, we can learn not to do things in excess and not to do things too little. In this run of not over doing things, I have started this exercise, shall share here on my blog my everyday experiences, not for anybody to read, not for anybody to appreciate, not for anybody to follow, simply for satisfying my need to express and my want to share, instead of sharing it with outsiders, I am sharing it with myself, people who are acquainted with me, and are comfortable with my sharing can continue to read my posts everyday, rest do not need it of course, goes without saying. That's why no more sharing with people who do not need it and no more caring about their views either.

I am here to simply write my heart out, oh!! yeah I can maintain a diary but I am fond of speaking out loud and clear and it gives me happiness and sometimes also removes unwanted people from my life and keeps the honest relationships alive.

It is good to be honest to others, and even better to be honest to yourself, rather than others, Life is a lot more easier and even if it is not, the strange thing is that the so called people who advice me so many things, also do not have an easy life, so its okay to not have an easy or a perfect life and perfect relationships in life. I wanna join the positive and the negative aspects and make it neutral. ZERO, Nothing, Blank, Empty, etc..... are no value words, but I guess in life if one can achieve this state, its the best thing that can happen to a human being. I am talking about the ordinary human being the common man, like me, not the highly intellectual people or the saints, the people who have lived extra ordinary lives, No, I am not one among them.

signing off for the day.............

I Love YOU :)

Weekend is an awaited time, from our usual routine we get a break, to do the things either we love to do, or the ones which are pending and you pile it up to complete during weekend.

Today I am not in my usual high spirits, because, it is weekend time, I am at work place, sitting as usual, but still I was wondering, how horrible the world would be if we never had friends and family to spend our good times and bad ones with.

Usually we never acknowledge our family members and friends for the kind of fulfillment they bring to our life. Today I am alone, at work, all family members are out, not that life stops, not that there is nothing else to do, not that, I am crying all day, its simply that when you do not have your loved ones close to you, everything seems a little less than usual. A little incomplete, a little slow........

It's good to stay in touch with friends on Phone calls, its nice to view updates on Facebook, its good to check out old snaps and revisit good old memories, but then everything would come to a stand still, if we had no one to share all this with. How Boring and non happening work and home would be, without the people in it.

Just take out some time, look at life, Give a hug to your partner and children, Say " I love you". Are we doing that everyday, if yes I am sure Life is beautiful at your end, but where it is not done, there is love, not that there is no Love and affection, but without expression, it is only a feeling which is suppressed and it does not reach the other.

Expression may not be in words always, it could be a smile, a hug, holding hands, looking into the eyes, When dull simply doing something funny to bring back that smile, or simply sitting quietly with each other, sharing a song, watching a movie together, going on a drive, exercising together, Dancing together, Swimming together, cooking together, anything and everything done Together and all these things are not applicable only for husband and wife or lovers, it is for Parents and children, friends, Loved ones, anyone whom you love, or who loves you and with whom Life feels better.

Along with expression of Love, Freedom is also a major part of being together, we need to know when to leave each other alone and give them the space when they need it. Too much of anything is bad, which holds true for Love and freedom both, but the decision is absolutely the other person's when they want to left alone and when they want to be together, only when you realize this, you know the true meaning of Understanding each other. People say relationships are based on trust, but I have observed that more than trust, Understanding plays a major role. Trust develops gradually when we understand each other better.

Love makes Life beautiful, and Love is never just physical touch, it is so many things we do for each other, just to see a smile on the other's face, or to let them know that " I am there and I shall always be there for you :)"
I do a lot of it and so even one day without all these seems so empty to me, My children and my loved ones, they make life beautiful for me, simply by being in it and enjoying and sharing every expression of Love in words, gestures and actions.

Missing you all specially Adesh, Avani and Srijan. Without you all Life is so meaningless and so empty. I love you. Thank you God for giving me such beautiful people to be called as FAMILY.

Missing all of YOU but more thankful that I have YOU & I belong to YOU :)

Signing off for the day :)
thatsbandana@gmail.com

Dussehra: A Victory of Good over Evil, is it true or Just a perception ???

Today Morning I woke up with some thoughts and felt like sharing them with all of you who read what I write, though today's post is different from my usual ones, now it is with a better insight of Life and Thanks to my teachers, Guru's or the people who have taught me so much.

Dussehra: We all say it is a day of Victory of Good over Evil, indeed it is, but it is also a perception of the so called good people that they are good and that Evil people exist in their lives. The fact is that there is Good and Evil, but, there are no Good people or Evil people, and, today I am just showing a new perspective to all who are reading this post, something which I learned off late in Life, from many wonderful people I came across specially after learning Hypno Therapy Concepts from CHII, Special Thanks to Dr. Rajiv Naidu, Yuvraj and Neeta Yuvraj.

When we look at the story of Ramayana, If Sita would not have crossed the Lakhsman Rekha, Ravan would not have kidnapped her and no War would have happened and no Dussehra, to be precise.

The different perceptions can be: Had she not been disobedient, no problems would happen to her and her family. Another perception: Good that she did what she did,so end of Ravan happened which was very important for people living in that time.

The thing is that everything was pre written or pre programmed and Rama took Birth for that war to happen, Ravan became so powerful by penance and did so many things which troubled a lot of people so as to Die in a great War by God himself. Sita was supposed to do what she did, so that this War happens........etc....etc.... and an Example was set, an Epic made out of this story and it is being read and followed in many ways by the world.

Now, if we see it in this way that every person who took birth in that Time period was playing a role which he or she was supposed to play, but when being human, they played it in an absolutely human way, like they fell in love, they had pangs of separation, they fulfilled their duties towards family, they fought for injustice, they kept promises, they also had jealousy, greed and vice, they also used their powers, they also showed what friendship is, what commitments are, what is the consequence of under estimating anyone, what is the consequence of Pride, the consequence of acting without thinking and a lot more lessons conveyed, not naming the different people who played the different roles but, the fact is that every person played his or her role perfectly, without the feeling of anyone being Great or Small, No one played God, they played Human, because they were in human form, and the moment Ravan Died, his role was over and the differences between Rama and Ravan were over too,and then Rama told Laskhmana to learn lessons from Ravan of being a great King. Ravan also thanked Rama for giving him a brave death which he desired to have in that lifetime.

Now let's come out of the story or Ramayana and come back to life, our life, we all have people in our life who play Ravan, who play Vibhishan, who play Hanuman, who play family, who play friends, who play Guru, who play Lover, who fight for us, who care for us, who stand with us in tough times, who back stab us, who hurt us, who shatter our faith, who disobey us, who insult us, and endless roles of endless people, but the moment we understand the fact that all are playing their roles which are pre written simply to teach us lessons of life and make us walk on our plan of life in different ways, just to fulfill whatever big or small goal which we have come here to fulfill and complete our job and Exit with happiness like all in the Ramayana did fulfilling their roles.

The main thing is listening to our inner voice, and doing what it says, because it is only the inner voice which knows what you are here for and what you are supposed to do. For example, it was bad Sita did not listen to Lakhsmana, as per society then, but her inner voice said she needs to go further and she did, and only then the remaining happened. Also Kaikeyi asking for 2 boons, was a part of the story, she had to play that role because she chose to play that, We all play the roles we choose to play in life and the good or bad consequences which follow are again only a part of our choices. There is no one good or bad, people simply play their part in your life, because you chose them to play it.

The hierarchy of family members also is a part of your role, you need to play a child to your parents, Spouse to your partner, Parent to your children, Boss to your team and team to your Boss etc... and according to your role behave adequately as per the need of the hour and position. That is when you play your role in a good way.

There should be no differences between people, there could be differences in Opinion and it could be expressed or if left unexpressed, then simply doing what you feel is right for you, would do good for you.

Even if you think you are doing good, you can always think that you are playing a role of a good character in the drama because you chose to play that role and not have any ego involved. If you are doing bad and you do not feel guilty then also its okay, because may be you are supposed to be that way, but the conflict happens when you do something which your inner voice does not agree to, whether the act be good or bad as per people or belief systems, but then for sure you are doing the wrong thing to yourself and the consequences are not what the other people will face because of you, the consequences are what you will face out of the guilt in you, anger in you or frustration/ depression in you, Pain/ Grief in You Any negative emotion which develops in you because of that act of yours.

"Whatever is happening in your life, it is only you who are responsible for it" My Trainer Dr. Rajiv told me this, the moment I understood, all the problems in my life disappeared one by one gradually, when I started understanding the roles of the other people in my life and mine in theirs and not have any negative emotions attached to me being in my Life the way I am.

I know it is getting longer and at places may not be very clear, because it took years for me to understand, just one small article cannot give all answers, but please feel free to write to me or discuss with me on comments with this article, I would be glad to learn more and share more.

Concluding my article of today with the same thought, there is no good people and bad people, all in our life are playing their role and we need to understand whom we want to choose to retain and whom we choose to let go, after having learned the lesson they came to teach us in our life. Simply play your role, learn and share, Listen to your inner voice, Be what you are meant to be in all relationships, and in the ones which do not work, understand the meaning why God put that person in your life and you will have no complaints or regrets. Most of all - Be Human and be okay with being human.

Love Yourself and Love all, Live and let live, Don't feel guilty if you err, there is a quote " To err is human, to Forgive Divine" and this forgiveness is not only for others, we need to Forgive ourselves too. Being liberated is not renouncing from the world, it is simply understanding that Everything happens for a reason and we can simply let go the emotions attached to the events. Life will be simple, easy and effortless. Why do we need a complicated Life ????? Do we ??????

Signing off for the day
thatsbandana@gmail.com